Nightmare on Bronxdale Ave. - A Myasthenics Hell

June is Myasthenia Gravis Awareness Month

2008-05-25T07:22:00.000-07:00

MYASTHENIA GRAVIS AWARENESS MONTH
"The many faces of Myasthenia Gravis- Together we are stronger."

Myasthenia gravis is an autoimmune neuromuscular disease that can strike anyone at any time.
Symptoms include: slurred speech, double vision, drooping eyelids, weakness in arms & legs and difficulty breathing, chewing & swallowing.

For more information, contact the Myasthenia Gravis Foundation of America at
1-800-541-5454, www.myasthenia.org, or your local chapter.
Expand knowledge, encourage research and support patients and their families.

MG & Stress - In the Dark

2008-05-21T19:29:00.000-07:00

5/21

As I sit here in disbelief at today's events, my mind races to find a word whose definition is, more surreal; or; beyond surreal? "Fantastic" sounds too pretty. "Unbelievable" doesn't do life here justice...."Justice" has a whole new meaning.

Today, the "ugly words" I wrote about in a previous post came to light and left me in the dark. The landlord got nasty with me, my lights were shut off, camera wire cut, 1F heard and laughed; the police took over 3 hours to respond to my 911 call (actually 2 911 calls and a call to the local precinct), then refused to let me make reports.

I won't elaborate ... My vision was bad by the afternoon, I had to shut and rest my eye muscles. I open them to a knock on the door. Today's nightmare begins...

It was the landlord. He appeared angry (and seemingly drunk!) because of a complaint about the steps in his building which he let fall into disrepair, and does nothing to fix. He was bullying as he told me to get the f--- out and worse. I was shaking, the stress. This is the same man who claimed he, "wanted 1F out" called them, "animals;" and had promised he was evicting them, etc. He was so angry and intimidating as he yelled at me. He then went downstairs and somehow my circuit breaker went off! [All of the apartments have separate circuit breakers, they are in his offices downstairs. Mine has been left off and shut off before.] Now, I was in the dark. No electric - hell.

I was getting the flashlight kept near the door when I heard someone come up. The camera was on the floor/rail as I peaked. I didn't see that part, but allege that he tried to pull it off the rail. (My old neighbor had made sure it wasn't coming off of the rail with wire ties and some other thing.) He cut the cameras electrical wire. Then announced that he cut it as he went back down to the basement, his business. He is well aware of the problems with and capabilities of 1F and had approved of the camera. Its presence had just recently started keeping 1F out of that part of the hallway and had deterred them from coming upstairs again. Oh my gosh! You've all seen what they do on camera...without it --What was he thinking?

I made some calls. I was told to call 911. I couldn't stay in the dark so I finally called...at around 4:20pm! (BTW It took three hours and a couple of calls for a 911 response. Scary!!!!!)

This camera has been sprayed with bleach, spray painted; I won't get into everything that was done to get it to work even as poorly as it did after all that, and now the wire is cut. I am in the dark with absolutely no security at all in this building.
My level of fear and stress here just increased. I am a weakened mess. My friend just wants my electric back on.

The Police still hadn't arrived, so I called 911 back at approximately 6:30pm and the operator told me a car had been assigned and she would let them know I was still waiting! Huh?! By 7pm it was getting very dark in here. I called the precinct, and inquired about my 911 call. I gave a nervous laugh and had a sinking feeling as I said my address, then was told he would find out what happened. The Police still hadn't arrived by the time persons were gathering for the MPCA meeting. We went across the street and I asked for help. The Police finally arrived around 7:30pm. An MPCA member, my friend and I spoke to them outside.

It took the Police over 3 hours to respond!! They told us they just received the call.
I don't know what I expected of them. "Justice" has a new meaning in this nightmare.

They went downstairs and talked to the landlord who told them that there was a problem with the electric and he doesn't know how to fix electric. The officers said they couldn't prove otherwise and had to believe his story: He did turn it on when asked to. Funny, the electrical "problem" occurred immediately after he came up here yelling about a violation and bullied/harassed me to move. I requested a report be made, no report.

As far as the camera, they also refused to let me report the damage! It didn't matter that he has known about the camera since it was placed and had previously approved of it. They said I "don't rent the halls" and basically informed us that he has the right to destroy my property because it was on his property. Several times I requested a report for the damage; they just repeated that the camera was in his hallway ... no report was filed.

I understand that any landlord has the right to request that a tenant remove anything of theirs which is on his property. Who knew that a landlord has the right to break your property if its on his property?!

In this fantastically, unbelievably surreal world I currently live in, I must remember not to park my car on any one's driveway or leave any belongings in someones home.

My lights are still on: I'd like to say I am no longer in the dark, but I am.

MG & Stress - it's out of hand...

2008-05-20T20:38:00.000-07:00

It was always bad - the banging. Now it's worse. Last night it started at 11pm. It's not only loud, it's felt. The floor vibrates and the glassware left on the shelves rattle. I'm not kidding, you can ask a host of people who have been here. As I said it's always been bad, just not this bad.

It's after 11:30pm ... are they playing football? tackling each other? wrestling? body slamming the wall?

I have to get out of here. They are making sure I am reminded every day. The stress only makes it harder. I do not care how I feel tomorrow, I am going to find out what the h--- is taking so long. Forgive me, I'm tired!

MG & Stress - Staying Here...

2008-05-20T02:27:00.000-07:00

5/19
Silly, but I dreamt of finding a bag of money - just enough to get out and far away!!
Look at the posts and videos regarding just the last two weekends.
It's still a Nightmare on Bronxdale!

Gosh no: I'm not staying here!

The landlord sent his wife and worker to see me today. I just finished making a decision about my dog. He's around 18; inevitable, but still a hard decision and very sad. My mind was not on anything else. How she could walk in this filthy building, knowing no repairs are made, walk up the broken steps, knowing all about 1F and still act as a proud owner, I do not know. Nor do I understand how the worker who had repeated the landlords promise of a 1F eviction so many times could even look at me.
She told me the landlord wants me to leave; and I quote, "We can't make your problems, our problems." Huh? They are only the landlords, responsible for the safety and security of all of their tenants; who haven't even put a lock on the door or a no loitering sign up. Who have not once discouraged 1F behavior in any manner. The same landlord who knew 1F was a problem and promised they would be evicting them before I moved in. The same landlord who also made those promises to 2R. Can't make my problems their problems!! They made their "problem," my problem. I was feeling and doing just fine: I had no "real" problems when I moved in here.

I was told I could keep the back rent. As if I should trust another verbal agreement made by these landlords! That money is legally theirs unless they put that in writing or a court decides otherwise. It's safe, in "escrow."

She also told me I am taking money out of their family's mouth. Huh? They have had many tenants come and go because of 1F. They haven't rented the empty apartments. They shouldn't have rented to me, or they should have upheld their agreement in the first place. If they are worried about money, you would think they would want to get rid of 1F as promised. Then they could rent the apartments to nice citizens who pay rent on time and who don't harass, threaten or worse until other tenants move out.

I was too upset about my dog, and this conversation was too absurd. Other than again asking for a landlord letter which I need for an application and was promised a long time ago, I don't even know what I said. If they are in a rush to get rid of me, they would comply. I NEED that letter for assistance. I can't move out of here without help, I can't get help without a "landlord letter."

If what was said wasn't enough, it was said in the hallway, LOUD. As if 1F needed to know that I no longer have support from the landlord, that I am truly alone; that they can still get away with everything. The landlord and his wife and workers are all aware of the behavior of 1F. They know my complaints against 1F, the danger I am in and I had informed them of the Orders of Protection. By announcing the above so 1F could hear, they have put me in more danger.

By the way, they didn't stop by 1F to have the same conversation. The letter from his now former attorney dated March 5, promised the landlord wanted to ensure a safe, secure environment, was supportive of me, and had started a new eviction proceeding against 1F. Promises, promises, promises.

I haven't been served, but I won't be staying here. I wish I could have left already. I just need the money to get out. I might get help if he would just give me a letter as promised.

In case you are wondering why or what happened ... I'll sum it up ... healthcare! Yes, I had no "real" problems until I moved here.

I just read another article in the Bronx Times Reporter. I had emailed the reporter a press kit from the MG Foundation regarding June as Myasthenia Gravis Awareness month. His return phone call was about membership in the Morris Park Community Association (MPCA)! I suppose it's common knowledge that I am home most of the time! Though I want my anonymity back, I felt I owed it to the Association to answer some questions. It was a very bad MG day, I let the reporter know that. I also let him know that I will not be staying in this town! I just hope the paper remembers to draw attention to MG this June!

I actually only joined MPCA recently; after I brought my problems to their attention. It was something I probably should have done long ago. The facility is right across the street. Having always been pretty obscure when it came to community events and involvement; I really didn't know what a "Community Association" was all about when I first moved in here. The day my old neighbor accompanied me while I tried to get an order of protection, then to the precinct trying to get help; We ran into someone who suggested the MPCA could help. A lot happened after that, but I am glad I eventually made it to a meeting. They've seen what goes on here and how many people have moved in and out of here. I feel safer when the MPCA patrol is out or the facility is open. They have and DO call the police when they see anything. Their concern is genuine and members try to help me, at least find a new apartment!

When asked to do a MPCA website, of course I agreed. Besides wanting to return their kindness, what else am I going to do while I am trapped up here and 1F are blocking the exit and loud out there? MPCA gave me all of the information and I just pasted it in a very basic template site. I am MG slow these days, it is a very simple site which also took too long!! Anyway, at least they now have an internet presence and can easily add to and edit the site themselves. http://www.morrisparkca.weebly.com/

I also cut and pasted the information MPCA gave me into www.neighborhoodlink.com/bronx/morrispark which is a wonderful interactive community site. Everyone can add their own events and classifieds; make their own homepages; meet their neighbors on a forum; the site hosts many features. I hope the community takes advantage of it.

The above mentioned article quotes me as saying, "I love this community." To clarify, if this "house from hell" and the people in it weren't here, and I hadn't "met" some local blue, or learned what I know now, I would love this community! Walking down the block most people nod or say, "Hello." You'll find the same friendliness in the local businesses. Nothing is open late; other than in and around this hell, it's pretty quiet! This neighborhood also has some of the best Italian bakeries and deli's!

It's too late though. I won't be staying. What goes on here is allowed to go on...it won't get better...I also don't want the possibility of running into 1F or certain, you know, ever again...I need to go far.

In the meantime, as long as I feel up to it and someone continues to come here and escort me out of this building; I'll continue to make some MPCA meetings. I have come to the realization that it is important to get a little involved in any community you live in. It is definitely important to be proactive about my disease! Wherever I wind up, I will be sure to attend the local Association meeting to introduce myself, explain my disease and emergency management of MG, meet the local leaders, and learn what goes on in that neighborhood.

Unfortunately, I know what goes on here...I won't be staying.

PS Did anyone catch the ABC special about the Police / Code of Silence?
Yikes!! To confirm ... No, I won't be staying here!!!!

As if I needed more encouragement...here's an angry O from 1F punching the door, frightening me, yelling, "Move":

...it went on a lot longer.

MG & Stress - Another Sunday Morning

2008-05-18T01:13:00.002-07:00

All night...the usual group, in and out, loud without music, banging...I fell asleep.

Around 3am...
They start making this loud strange sound right outside my window. Why?
They are outside. Still going in and out frequently, doors banging. They are talking about me. Trying to wake me up. Why?
The old lady just yelled something at them. They talk back. I decide to try the other room. They turn the music on. LOUD! Boom boom.
Around 4am...The old lady starts yelling at them again. Eventually, the music goes off. They are still going...

Sunday mornings were once relaxing.

MG & Stress - I Don't Understand

2008-05-15T04:47:00.000-07:00

Tuesday, I almost took an MG fall again. I had to wait 4 hours at my second appointment for the day. I couldn't do it. I was having a hard time holding my head up after a while, and it just got worse. My vision was double and blurry, it was bad. I got myself out of the chair, walked to the desk and that was it! I felt gravity, my legs couldn't hold me: The security guard in the building caught me. She was kind. I rested and regained enough strength to get "home" (I use the term loosely!). I usually listen to my body; I knew it would be too much for me after I finished my first appointment. I had to go though. This appointment was for help.

After I waited all of that time, it turns out the woman who my appointment was with, wasn't even in. No one told me! They took my name and told me to wait!!! I am trying to get help to move. This worker knows I am disabled, she could have told me she wasn't going to be in for our appointment. Someone could have told me when I arrived. She knows my situation, she knows I desperately need help moving out of here. I don't understand.

I have never been in this position before. I have never had any assistance and am just learning what help is available. The process is confusing. I had asked locals to help walk me through it. They also know my dire situation. After a promise of a letter to help expedite one application and a phone call from someone who can explain another process...They never called back! I phoned again yesterday and was promised a return call again. They know what goes on here, they know I have a disability, they know I really need help....I don't understand! I haven't had help getting a lock on the front door of the building, or a No Loitering sign, never mind anything else here...yet, somehow I still thought their concern for my health and welfare was genuine and still expected them to help get me out of here. If they do not want to help, I wish they would just tell me that rather than let time go by. I just don't understand!

I was reading a big article in Bronx Times about local politicians cleaning up some of the neighborhood buildings. No mention of this building. The world sees the inside of this building, and that no one has forced repairs or security here! The whole neighborhood (and world) has also seen or been made aware of the loud parties, public drinking, loitering and everything else that is allowed to go on here. This building and those people diminish Quality of Life in Morris Park. If they care about the neighborhood, they should do something about this place too! Right now, I care about me - It doesn't end here...I am in danger as long as I am stuck up here: I continue to protect myself by publicizing some of what is allowed to go on. Someone needs to do something about the situation here or please...help me get out!!! I just don't understand.

Meanwhile, someone who doesn't live near here and doesn't really know me has been and is VERY helpful. I don't understand that either but am VERY grateful. You are a Godsend! Thank you!

I had planned to bring up everything at the MPCA meeting. Then a good friend called, she did not have her son and she was coming down to visit! Her plan was to take the ride after work. I let another friend know she would be around and he came over to see her too. I was so excited, we are friends for over 20 years. We talk everyday, she's been my "phone escort" but she hasn't been here since February. In my old place, she would come and spend the weekend. She knows what goes on, she won't do that here. Her boyfriend didn't want her coming to this building alone tonight either!!! The plan changed. She had to wait for him and didn't get down here until around 7:30pm. By then she only had an hour or so. They live about 1 1/2hour away and work early! It was still nice...and fun. She missed her calling, she should have been the comedian! They made me laugh: I forgot about everything for a little while. I needed that!

I did see someone from the Association. He informed me that he saw what went on Saturday night. They were on patrol while 1F was partying outside. He also told me he heard it was worse later. I hope I can make the meeting next week. I want to make sure everyone has my phone number so they can check up on me when they see that going on. I also want to ask the officers who attend, why they don't give out tickets for loitering, drinking in public...etc.? I won't bother mentioning that I was granted an Order of Protection, and 1F is always blocking the entrance/exit, still harassing and intimidating me: After everything that has happened here; I have little faith that they wish to prevent crime in my defense. At the meeting, I will only point out how 1F behavior effects the community.
An officer from another precinct had mentioned that if someone is overly annoying and in their way on the sidewalk, he will use, impeding pedestrian traffic. He also said it sticks in court...every time! It is public record that officers from the 49th allegedly profiled someone who turned out to be a NY Post reporter last year. I believe those officers used, not following an officers order, to bring him in. I won't mention my ordeal! It seems as if the laws/power is used when it's convenient for them. They have the power to protect Quality of Life in this neighborhood and stop 1F, I don't understand why they don't use it.

If local politicians really want to clean up the neighborhood and preserve Quality of Life, they should inform police that they don't want to see people drinking in public or loitering outside and ask the police to start enforcing the laws. While they are at it, they could ask Housing and the Department of Buildings to do the same! I just don't understand.

I am also curious to know if anyone from MPCA called the Police on this past weekends 4:30am ordeal. She was screaming, half of the neighborhood probably heard. I would love to know why the Police were here and what they were doing on the steps to my apartment. Through the Freedom of Information Act 911 calls are public record. It takes about 90 days to receive a FOIL request. It is much easier to ask at the meeting!

My friend who had stayed with me Saturday night watched the tape. Right before the police are visable on the tape, the doors are heard. I am pretty sure those bangs are the front doors, but we looked for a shadow of light as is seen when 1F door opens anyway. We didn't see any. We also didn't hear them knock on 1F door earlier on the tape. Who knows? As I had assumed before, it still appears as if they came in and one came right up what sounds like a few stairs. A minute later the one officer's arm appears in the video, which would also mean he wasn't all the way upstairs then...Who knows? He is on the walkie, talking to someone. The other officer holds out something out and waves it up and down in the camera view. I am sure there was a reason...I just don't understand!

Again, my apartment door bell works; and though there is still no front door lock, the intercom had been fixed around a month or so ago. If they really wanted to speak to me, they could have woken us up! We found the approximately two and one-half minute police visit here strange. I find it strange that we are even watching and discussing a surveillance tape! Life here is surreal ... that I understand!
I know at that point of the tape it was after 5:30am, I had practically just fallen back to sleep after being awoken by the earlier fight: I know I was exhausted, but still don't understand how we didn't hear them in the building when they first arrived. A lock downstairs would be nice...

I am pretty sure locks on the building doors are required under Housing Laws, no one cares...I don't understand.

Below is a video / clips of May10-11. Most is from inside my apartment! The surveillance is very dark and hard to hear. The dub is worse! My camera is ruined. I received another one (thanks!) but 2R isn't here to help me set it up! And really...I just want out...I don't want a camera; I shouldn't have to have any surveillance cameras! There should be security, a lock on the front door. There should only be a couple of people living in a one bedroom, who shouldn't be allowed to carry on as they do. I shouldn't have to live in fear. Here I go with the should-haves again! I suppose, I just don't understand!

Another weekend night.....

2008-05-12T14:23:00.000-07:00

5/12-13
Mother's Day with the family - Always nice. Wish I had a better nights sleep, but...the day was relaxing all the same. Mom isn't feeling well at all, horrible side effects from a medication. She can barely walk, and is in pain. She is in her 80s, I'm worried.

My dog is about 17 or 18 now, he was from a shelter so they could only guess his age when I adopted him. He's a special dog! Skippy has lived with my parents for a long time now, with visits to me often while I was well. That is, until I moved here. I couldn't walk by 1F often enough for him to go out! Now, besides that fear, I am too weak. I wish I could bring my dog here though: He isn't doing well at all either. He can barely walk. I spent the night at my parents to be with him. It may be the last time. I am very upset.

Today, Dad drove me back. He's not doing so great either, it's a long drive for him. He doesn't mind, I do. My parents are wonderful, but are not young. They need relax; they don't need to worry about me.

Back in hell. That freakin' bike is still here!!! It's so in the way. Do they do that on purpose?

A friend should be coming over later. I believe it's another court day, I don't want to be alone.

Finally watched a piece of the surveillance from Saturday Night/Sunday morning. Funny, it was actually louder in my apartment then on the surveillance! Apparently, the police arrived around 30 minutes after it quieted down. Looks as if the one I refer to as "the 12 yr old" left on his bike right before that. From the tape it appears that the police came in and came right upstairs? I don't know why. I didn't call, my friend didn't call. We talked about it during the raucus but wouldn't/didn't. Downstairs is where all of the yelling and crying was coming from; why would they come straight to my door?

I don't know how my friend and I didn't hear the Police sooner. I got up when I heard a walkie talkie, "brrrrng" and that step creak, which must have been as they were leaving. I heard car doors and had looked out the window after that...that is when we were sure the Police had been here.

I am glad I was not alone, though it is very scary - someone was up here and I didn't know it! A front door lock would be nice; one that works with the intercom would make me feel much safer!! A friend suggested that I put in "the poor man's alarm system" on the top of the landing - a Halloween doormat that screetches when someone steps on it!!!! It's always good to laugh!

On the surveillance tape, one officer comes up, the other stays downstairs. They talk low, I believe they point out the camera. Then, it sounds as if the officer upstairs was talking on a walkie talkie. I have a doorbell, it works, he didn't use it. A few low knocks are heard. I don't think it was my door he knocked on. The camera is right there, it should have been much louder and the camera usually clicks or has some type of interference when someone walks by it. Maybe he was knocking on 2R? I really don't know why they were here, or exactly where the officer who came upstairs was; I just know that it's disturbing that neither of us heard anything sooner. When it had quieted down before the officers were here, I had went back to sleep. My friend said he was up, he may have dozed off, it was almost 6am! Who knows? Anyway, I am glad I have it all on tape...safely stored...indisputable evidence.

MG & Stress - Unbelievable

2008-05-11T10:34:00.000-07:00

5/10-5/11
Oh my gosh. The party started early. There are a large group of them down there. They are loud. No music tonight, just VERY loud conversations, etc.
That darn bike is back and in my way too! Unbelievable!
They are talking about Kotex and well, it's disgusting, why would anyone scream that stuff out?! Of course, I came up in their conversation, oh, I mean that "B upstairs," was mentioned. It was worse. I won't get into it. I also thought I heard them say, "Let her complain..." My heart started racing. They might as well be sitting in my living room. Instead they are all in an out, and mostly outside, blocking my exit. Impeding pedestrian traffic, loitering, (one just screamed "Bring my drink out."), so, drinking in public; perhaps, as they are unbelievable loud, drunk & disorderly conduct would apply...it's pointless to even think about these possible tickets, they won't get any...I'm trapped up here and they are allowed to drink and party in public, not to mention blocking/impeding the steps / my exit and the sidewalk. Seems, they have no respect for anyone and apparently not for the Order of Protection either. Unbelievable!
Around 12:30am, they went out. Thank goodness!!! A friend came over. He was late, they were gone. Just the kids, the old lady and another one was down there. They were loud but not as frightening. Or, so I thought. My friend stayed on my couch.

Around 4am SCREAMING, bangs... it sounded like they were in my bedroom with me! There goes my heart racing and body shaking again. The one she had told the cops was her son and 12 years old (unsure if that is the truth, only what she had claimed) was yelling, "I do have respect for you ma, You're drunk. You're drunk, ma" He repeated that a few times. More banging, yelling. My friend wanted to know if I wanted him to go downstairs, "NO," I was adamant. We talked about calling the cops. That wasn't going to happen either! I don't need any of that! Just his presence here made me feel much safer. I had a witness and they can't harm me while someone is here! (Besides it is always nice to sleep in my bedroom - I usually won't. It's in the back of the building, has child guards on the windows. They've come up to my door before - I have to think about where the exit is these days. Even if I could somehow get out of those windows, I'd still be trapped. The back and sides of this building are solid fenced and locked. I feel much safer in the front of the building!)
Their yelling went on for a while. The old lady was yelling, "vena ca" (my Spanish spelling lacks!) and many more things. How can she take it? This is her Mother's Day?! Now a female was crying and screaming at the kids about how much she does for them, someone was "choking" her, etc. She was hysterical crying. Another loud bang, I tried not to panic. I didn't know what to do. After about 20 minutes of what seemed like an eternity, it quieted down. I was so tired I went back to bed. Something I never would have been able to do if I was alone! I can not thank my friend enough!
A bit later I heard and woke to a walkie-talkie, "brrrng" ... damn!! Someone called the cops. Now I just have to pray they don't think it was me! We looked out, car number 4411 was out front at about 5:40am. I had heard the cops on the stairs (they creak loudly!) then car doors. Thank goodness they didn't knock on my door. Witness or not, at this point, with my body shaking and weak, I did not need the stress of dealing with blue.
It was over. My poor friend was now wide awake. I was even more exhausted, the panic, the shaking, takes a lot out of me! Again, if I was alone, I am sure I never would have went back to sleep. I wasn't, so fell right back. Ahhhh...

NO...Now it's after 6am and the rest of them came home. Bang, bang bang...can't they even hold the doors open for each other!!! They were only here for a few minutes when it started again, yelling. OH gosh, the 1F woman was screaming, "That F---n B---. Give me my phone... cokehead ... I'll call the cops...give me my phone...she wants to call the cops...that F---n B----..." OH God. I am wide awake and shaking again, my friend is still up. The cops were already here so I am not sure if she is complaining about me or the girl who was down there yelling and crying earlier. I don't care, I just pray it doesn't get ugly. She is loud, vulgar and worse! She sounds WASTED. Her sister or cousin or whoever that other one is, is also yelling. I can hear O and another one too. They all sound angry. This could get ugly. Thank God my friend was still here. They are so loud! There is very little sleeping possible here on weekends: Semantics, I did say, "Stay on my couch." not, sleep! I am kidding, I felt bad. Why don't they care that their mother is close to 80? Or that their children should be asleep? They have a small one bedroom apartment. We can hear them as if they are in my apartment. I don't know how they can take it! What is wrong with these people?
I am not sure if the cops came back or why she was even going to call them. They kept up the yelling until way after 6:30am. Then their voices lowered a bit, but they were still going....seems they never stop...I have to, my eyes won't stay open.
Another unbelievable weekend!

Their behavior and life here is all too unbelievable so once the tape is converted I'll add it here....

MG & Stress - A Summary!

2008-05-10T11:29:00.000-07:00

5/9
I haven't shared on this blog in a while...I'll update the "dailies" soon.

In the meantime, I'll fill you in a little....
I am still desperately seeking a way out of here. Still filling out forms, applications, making calls, looking at places, trying to box a little...besides trying to take care of my health...new issues keep popping up...it's too much! This all means appointments. Though I know it exhausts me, I try to make them all early when I am at my MG best (and the least of them are around!), in the same day, with a day of rest in between. Just to leave here and come back here is still STRESSFUL!

MG aside. It's a process, who can take me in, or who can I call to stay on the phone while I get out and in, is anyone around...This is no way to live...it's unbelievable; but still very necessary. They still frighten, intimidate, harass me...just over the past month, I've been videotaped, stared down, spit at, yelled at or about, have had the 1F door punched from the inside as I walked by it...the music, banging and parties also continue. I never know when it will get worse. These are angry people. On top of it all, I had to worry about tripping over something: The hallway was like an obstacle course for the last two weeks. Besides the garbage can, there was a bicycle blocking the hall / exit.

Today, the bicycle went away, so did the garbage can! The landlord took the can away, I'm not sure where the bike went. He knocked on my door and asked me if I complained. Everyone who has come to see me has complained and everyone who’ve I’ve been on the phone with has heard me B about that darn bike in the way. In fact, it's a daily comment in my journal! I told him I need to be able to walk by and get out. He had nothing more to say. Ah, the hall is finally free of inanimate obstacles. Now, I only have to worry about walking by the people, and well, I always have to think about MG. I have to get out of here.
My description doesn't do the situation justice, more videos coming soon.

This is May 5. This is the day, public record showed she had to appear in court. This is the day a temporary order of protection should have been explained to her. I believe she was still home when I left around 11. It's now around 4:15pm. I am home from appointments. This is the time, I stop worrying about how to get out of here and start thinking about how I will get back inside. I needed to get some empty boxes upstairs, I knew that bike would be in the way. Make my usual call for a phone escort. O came out when I pulled up. He stared me down outside. I fiddled in the car. Finally, he went in...it never ends... GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!

MG & Stress - Step Away From Hell

2008-05-09T19:22:00.002-07:00

"You have to get out!"
....If I hear that one more time!!! First of all, some who repeat that statement, are in the position to do something about Quality of Life issues: They should have...before it escalated...even now it would help me, "get out." Second, they should have to get out! I should be able to live in peace; the other people who were here should have been able to stay and live in peace. Situations here never should have happened...I could go on, but having repeated that, I am more than aware, it is way too late - I do not have to be told - I KNOW I HAVE TO GET OUT!!!

If you think of a way to get me out, other than in a box or on a stretcher, please tell me! I am working on finding a way out, doing everything I can, every day. Moving also takes a lot of physical energy and $! I have Myasthenia Gravis, it doesn't help that I have also had many setbacks, too many bills, don't meet requirements for apartments right now, etc. etc. etc.! I have been and am still in a situation which I never even dreamed possible. I'm trying to find help to get out permanently- It's still hard to get out at all.

Most of the time, and every evening, when 1F is in and out constantly, I'm stuck up here. If a friend doesn't stop by to "babysit," I am on the computer. I type, take a break, get back on the computer, break, repeat. My hands bother me so much, I'm told I need another surgery(Ha!), a shot would be temporary and is very expensive(Ha!). I'll have to live with it. I come from strong stock! My hair is falling out, my elbow is still disfigured...Too many unaffordable health issues to deal with and of course, MG, which I can not ignore. Here's a riddle; If health is the priority but getting out of here is essential to health...where is the choice?

As far as MG weakness, I think all Myasthenics have that constant inner fear of choking, or falling, or worse. We learn to compensate for symptoms. Function, then rest; do what we can, when we can, learn to listen to our bodies. When eating, I find myself taking tiny bites so I can chew; or finishing a meal over an hour, taking breaks in between chewing and swallowing. During the day, I can usually move my head to keep focus. If I've used them too much, by the evening, I have to patch my eyes. I rest one for about fifteen minutes or one-half hour, then the other starts to lose focus and I switch the patch. For a healthy person, it's hard to understand. There was a great discussion on on explaining MG at Bette's MG Yahoo Group.
One described what MG does to our voluntary muscles, using a cell phone. One minute the battery is charged and it is working, slowly its power weakens, then it must be recharged in order to continue working. Sometimes it won't hold a charge at all. That is a good analogy.

Still, at times, I feel no one understands. Another brilliant statement made to me, "Try to avoid stress." That did help, it made me laugh; though too hard, I had to rest! It was suggested that I write my situation here down. I've been doing that. Writing my thoughts does help a bit, but it is also a reminder that I have to get out! Writing a journal isn't very difficult; it comes from my inside or what is happening at that moment here. I do not need to read or look at anything. The only thinking required for this is concentrating on getting my hands and fingers to cooperate. To accomplish anything these days takes me time...I have MG.

As if I wasn't aware of this also, I've been told I need stress relief; "down time" from the situation here, "You need to step away from it." Helping to promote MG Awareness "doesn't count." I am not sure how to "step away" from hell while still living in it, but try to take the advice. Forcing myself to spend some time doing anything that is far removed from the ugliness of here. I know I have a disease which limits my abilities. That awareness doesn't make it any less frustrating when almost everything I do is a reminder. What I could once do in hours, will now sometimes take weeks!

I was inspired to work past it all, by Nadia Uddin's courage and her family's story. Helping with Nadia Uddin's web search for a kidney was something I really wanted to do (http://www.nadianeedsakidney.weebly.com/). I pray she finds a kidney. Perhaps something good could come out of this "prison"! I am also spending some time doing a simple page for MPCA. When I am woken at crazy hours, it's a welcome deterrent. MG makes it hard enough to get things done; trying to put my mind on something else is so difficult when in the background is usually always some reminder of this situation: Unbearably loud music, super loud conversations or arguments, doors slamming all day and night, banging, indoor football games...! They are right outside the exit door on those steps for hours in the nice weather. Well, no not really, they go in and out banging the door so many times in that hour! How can I get out? Especially when nothing has changed, it continues. Somehow, while I'm trapped up here, every so often, "That B upstairs," comes up. Then, I start thinking about their capabilities...what if...what if that anger escalates...what if I have to call...my heart races and I get weaker...I have to close both eyes. My mind steps right back into hell, where it has been for months now....I have to get out of here!!!

I'll update this whole blog soon. In the meantime here is a frightening example of my continuing hell, O down there screaming up at me to, "Move B---!" He went on, punching the door, he doesn't care, "She's gotta f---n go."

Nadia Needs a Kidney News!

2008-05-02T04:25:00.000-07:00

Check out the Bronx Times for the wonderful article drawing attention toNadia Uddin the ten year old neighborhood girl who needs a kidney!
Buy the paper locally (Bronx, NY) or see the article online at:
http://www.yournabe.com/articles/2008/05/02/bronx/doc481a7798f1faf142450581.txt

MPCA members, AnnaMaria DiNofrio and Mark Anthony have been working hard in their fundraising efforts for Nadia and her family. They have placed containers donated by J&D Snacks, Utz Distributors in local businesses.
AnnaMaria has worked closely with J&D Snacks who have also generously donated Utz chips. She has also started a campaign with Nadia's school P.S 83. Teachers and students are also concerned for their classmate and are making great efforts to support her during this time. Delgado's Karate School (Bronx, NY) is still offering some classes ($120. value) at $20. in support of Nadia. Check Nadia's sites for more on what is going on in support of her.

Happy Birthday Nadia! It's Nadia's birthday Monday! Be sure to use the contact page on her sites to send her a note!

Please check out her websites, if you are in the area stop by a local store or the regular meeting of the Morris Park Association Wednesdays 7:30 pm 1824 Bronxdale Avenue, 10462 to show support of Nadia.

http://www.nadianeedsakidney.blogspot.com/

http://www.nadianeedsakidney.weebly.com/

P.S. Now you know what I have been helping with for the last month while trapped up here!

MG & Stress - Nadia Needs A Kidney

2008-04-29T04:24:00.000-07:00

Nadia's Websites are Done!!!!

Well, some! - I'm slow these days!!!
Nadia Uddin, is the 10yr old neighborhood girl who suffers from End Stage Renal Disease and is in need of a kindey! Working closely with her Mom, Jennifer, and friends, AnnaMaria & Mark Anthony from MPCA, we have created a web campaign for Nadia.
For now...here are a couple of her websites.....

http://www.nadianeedsakidney.weebly.com

http://www.nadianeedsakidney.blogspot.com

Please check out the sites, spread the word,
help Nadia find a Kidney.

Help support her and her family during this time.
Contact needskidney@gmail.com for more information on how you can help or to be tested.

MY STORY:
If you don't have it - Email me for my new blog site....

My short posts for the last week will be added here soon. Basically, it's still loud; they still party until all hours; they are still in and out. They do not go inside to let me pass by. The woman from 1F SPIT as a friend & I walked by. O from down there was punching their door and yelling about the camera, how he doesn't care, and screamed out loud, "Move." There are still too many of them in a one bedroom apartment. They are still harassing me...The stress is still effecting me......June is still MG Awareness Month!

ALL ABOUT MYASTHENIA GRAVIS

2008-04-26T10:43:00.000-07:00

This is a wonderful video about Myasthenia Gravis:

MG & Stress - In & Out

2008-04-25T05:25:00.000-07:00

4/22
In and out in and out smoking…All day. 4:30pm, more arrive at 1F, they are all in and out constantly…I mean constantly! The outer door screeches now. It may as well be an alarm. If it didn't screech every few minutes, it might be a good thing considering there is still no lock. Their door bangs, the vestibule door bangs then the screech, constantly. The number of times they are in and out is amazing. This minute, one came in, the three doors slam, another followed seconds later, a few seconds after that they both go back out and under my window, loud; Another comes in, doors slam, screech…I find my earplugs. I could still hear it, just dulled. I try to do what I can, they are still at it, 11pm, I have to sleep...

4/21
Doctors, doctors, doctors. Started therapy for my elbow which still is not healed. I have to rest often during, repetitive motion tires all myasthenics. It hurts! Another MD mentioned operating on my hands…I had to giggle! Necessary or not, finances and risks aside, recovery time and a peaceful environment to do so in, is a luxury I don’t have right now! The last doc of the day, bloodwork, an EKG, and a new problem dx…most likely an effect of stress. I am now broke and exhausted, rested for a while, then stopped to call about some apartment signs I saw on the way, talk to an agent, see an apartment. All way out of range, or way too many flights of steps!
Back home I make a call, then have to rest. I wake in the evening to 1F; all doors slamming every few minutes. I worked on doing what I can. A friend suggested and directed me to a meditation and yoga site; I did not even finish reading the info page when banging started down there…forget it! I start the cameras.An ambulance had been out front about 9:40pm, lights on. Wanda from 1F was by the back of the “bus“ talking to someone inside. They left a couple of minutes later.
It's much quieter now....ahhhh.

4/19
My friend stayed over. The in and out of 1F was still constant.

MG & Stress - What's Quality of Life?

2008-04-22T07:20:00.000-07:00

4/18
Back to hell...trying to get things accomplished and to rest...

Though the situation here is way beyond Quality of Life, I used the term and am inspired to query, "Mayor Bloomberg, who enforces Quality of Life law?" I read the Quality of Life law....Its purpose to establish a peaceful society, community environment...Unenforced it serves no purpose, a waste of paper. A far as 311 Noise complaints: Calls go in, police investigate and if they witness the noise, correct it...for a few minutes anyway! As far as I know, one call went out. Someone from that division of the local precinct called a complainant (not me); admitted many calls had come in for this address; listened to how the situation with noise had worsened and escalated to harassment. That was early this year; it was going to be looked into. It was looked into so thoroughly that one couple recently left their home. Surrounding neighbors continue to complain.
The situation here was brought to the attention of many advocates for Quality of Life. They should look into the condition of the building, the history of the tenants, 311 and 911 calls, interview surrounding neighbors…perhaps request full videos. Without addressing any of the other horrors here or the fact that I am disabled, and that other laws should apply; doesn‘t anybody care about the Quality of Life Law? So again, I ask the Mayor, "Why a Quality of Life law, if no one has the power to enforce it?"

A sample of this Friday’s Quality of Life on Bronxdale:
(Not that I do not enjoy my friends company!) It is sadly still necessary for me to have friends, "witnesses" stay over or use the cameras. Tonight my friend can‘t make her usual Friday night “babysitting“ appointment! It’s about 7pm now. I don’t know what that banging below is; it’s very loud and everything up here rattles and vibrates. I shouldn't, but do hear guests arriving at 1F; they bang loudly on the door. The in and out; in and out, is just constant. It’s nice, so they hang out outside too, blocking my exit. I can‘t leave now. Their door, the outer doors slam repeatedly as they go in and out. I look out and see lights at the MPCA, I hope they are seeing this too...just in case. In this surreal environment, I know I also have to turn the cameras on.
Noise is a factor on paper in that Quality of Life law…the noise is the least of my worries. It’s hard enough to get things done with MG, now with tonight’s increased stress it is harder. With all of the goings on down there, concentration also becomes an issue.

It’s 11:30pm now, the banging and the door slamming continues. They are still outside and inside. It’s a party. Some are inside and can be heard clearly through my bedroom windows. Others are outside, loud while the kids are playing. …Drunken, “Ya know what I’m sayin’?“, “Ya know what I mean?“ I wish I couldn’t hear what they were sayin’! I can’t tell you how many times that was repeated…It’s much louder in the living room. There is nothing else I can do … I have to sleep...

Quality of Life…that law may be better served if the paper was used to soundproof rooms!

MG & Stress - More Harassment

2008-04-22T03:16:00.000-07:00

There is no longer doubt that the actions of 1F have also effected many people and the entire community. Many have come forward to help prove that. One has also effected her last community. They are still effecting me, and there are so many of them! So many adults and children permanently residing with one old lady in a one bedroom apartment. So many coming and going, so many surnames... In and out all of the time. Some people get away with so much. I can’t even excersize my basic right to "get away," come and go from this apartment at free will. It makes it all that much harder to find a place where my Quality of Life and hopefully health can be restored...away from 1F and blue.

I hope they aren’t given the opportunity to continue destroying Quality of Life in this community. Though the landlord watched as Wanda moved in permanently, and her boyfriend also reside here, supposedly the landlord is starting a new proceeding to evict them. At least, that is what he recently told myself, the real estate he called on my behalf, the MPCA, his former attorney...I wish he kept his word in the first place. I am still finding the injustice, that I have to move if I want to live peacefully, unbelievable.

Injustices were also served to 2R, special thanks to my old neighbor.

P.S. Remember everybody, June is MG Awareness month. See http://www.myasthenia.org/

4/17

I wasn’t feeling strong enough to make the MPCA meeting last night. Today, I presented a basic sample site, and left an outline with some web ideas and content suggestions with the MPCA.
I am happy to do what I am able and help provide access to the organization through the web. They have seen 1F in "action" - they have been very supportive and I am grateful.

I have also been doing what I can to help Nadia Uddin, a ten year old girl, who suffers from End Stage Renal Disease -- She still needs a kidney, and support!! Please contact AnnaMarie or Mark Anthony through the MPCA, or at regular meetings 1824 Bronxdale Ave,10462, Wednesdays, 7:30pm.
On AnnaMarie’s suggestion, I was able to garner the support of Kevin, from J&D Snacks / Utz distributor. Today, Thursday, around 1pm AnnaMarie from MPCA and I, went to discuss a future fundraiser/kidney drive and pick up containers they have generously donated to Nadia Uddin’s cause. AnnaMaria had the bag of containers in hand and saw Wanda from 1F outside in her pajamas smoking. I felt my stress level increasing! Didn’t know what to do, did not want to pass her by, didn't want to call police. We waited and chatted by the 1857 garages. Wanda remained in front of the building, and proceeded to use her cell phone camera to harass and intimidate me. These days I can’t hold myself up in one spot long enough, so after a few minutes, we had to continue the walk. Wanda continued to use her cell phone to videotape me and Annamarie walking back to the building. Annamarie blocked her at the outside steps then walked me upstairs and called me later to confirm we were in fact being taped. I can’t even leave the apartment to do a good deed without intimidation and harassment … still!!!

Another friend stayed on the phone with me while I got out later. Spent some time with my parents, that was nice.

MG & Stress - Too Much & Too Surreal

2008-04-22T02:57:00.000-07:00

I haven’t been making my journal public lately…here are some highlights…

4/11 - on
Last weekend and the week …
I’ve been so busy trying to get others to send letters to local congressman to help ensure the Proclamation of June as MG awareness month … I just realized I hadn’t done that myself!!! Right now, there is just too much - even for a healthy person! Doctors, paperwork, web campaigning for MG, Nadia Uddin (she still needs a kidney folks!), apartment hunting, cataloguing, it’s all draining me. Add the financial burden of it all and stress of 1F … I am not doing well. I do what I can, when I can.

To help you understand what Myasthenics go through, there is a great thread on Bette’s MG group on yahoo groups about getting things done…
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/bettesmyastheniagravissupport/msearch?query=Mg+%26+Procrastination&charset=windows-1252

I highly recommend checking it out, here is a sample from another MGer on the thread.
“Boy---it helps to know that it isn't just me that feels this way.I agree that it probably doesn't fit the official descriptionof "procrastination" in that it isn't a choice to put somethingoff. More like a consequence of MG. I know what each activity isgoing to "cost me" energy wise and there just isn't enough to goaround to them all….” HD
She’s right, it is a relief to know that others feel this way. This Myasthenia Gravis group consist of others whom have actual experience with the disease. Their comments sometimes more valuable than any other source! The web makes it all possible, it is definitely an amazing and invaluable tool!

What is more amazing, the fact that hell continues here!!!! It is all still beyond belief - the whole entire thing - surreal, yet all too real and seemingly never-ending. Though, it is a small relief that all of the evidence I have gathered is in protective hands. Thank you again.
I do not understand how an Order of Protection works? 1F is in and out, in and out, smoking. It’s nice now, so they are also in and out, and hanging out on the steps outside. I would have to walk by them to leave.

All weekend the doors all slam about every twenty minutes. They still bang to get in constantly. Their music blared off and on, them in and out. I caught the landlord’s worker who is staying in the back apartment bitching about it too. Saturday night, I mean Sunday morning, I was woken to super loud music and a sing along when they came in at 5 or so. It stopped about one-half hour later. Don’t they ever even consider the old lady and the kids? They all still bang, there’s also a screamer down there often now. His mother, a participator… My life was again threatened, on her behalf, by you know who. Those of you who have followed faithfully and supportively, know my lips are sealed!

This nightmare never ends. I find it disturbingly still necessary to leave the camera’s going. Witnesses, cameras…evidence…unbelievably surreal…

Living with Myasthenia Gravis, Causes and Treatments.: How long?

2008-04-18T15:07:00.000-07:00

Remember June is MG awareness month. See www.myasthenia.org for more information.

Here is a fellow myasthenics blog and story....

Living with Myasthenia Gravis, Causes and Treatments.: How long?

MG & Stress - My Story Aside...

2008-04-10T19:23:00.000-07:00

4/9/08
I am still very tired and couldn’t get a lot done today either. My hands just won’t cooperate, typing this is very difficult.

Basically, I rested a lot as I had to function tonight and make the MPCA meeting. I want to help that little girl who needs a kidney. I was able to meet her and her mom. This 10yr old girl, Nadia Uddin is so ill, yet so full of life, it’s inspiring. It was obvious her illness is taking a toll on her mom. Just seeing her child sick must be draining … She works, takes care of her family and brings her little girl for dialysis treatments three or four times a week. With auto-immune Myasthenia Gravis I couldn’t be a potential donor but I will help every way I am able. She will make me a video and I will promote her story as I did my own, utilizing resources on the web. I pray she gets a lot of attention AND a kidney.

Another woman was speaking of the problems she has with a club near her home, loud partiers doing drugs, shooting guns, destroying property etc. She complained that she calls the cops and nothing gets done: Her Quality of Life is being destroyed. She was angry. I know how frustrated she feels.
Another man spoke of a drug party in front of his garage and a neighbor calling the police. They were there too late and … I know how he feels too.

I didn’t really speak about the situation here as I had planned. I listened to the Officers speak about recent arrests of teens who have been stealing cell phones in the area. One officer told the group that one of the teens was let go by the DA even though the eye witness was a detective. He made a point to address me directly to stress that the detectives word as an eye witness wasn’t enough for the DA; pointing out that is what he means when he says there is not enough evidence in my incidences. So he hopes my evidence would stick. I mentioned there were charges brought, I think it went over his head. I didn’t elaborate. All I could think of is: These kids went in front of the DA already!! That means they gave these kids Live Arrests rather than Desk Appearance Tickets (DAT). I needed an immediate Order of Protection against people whom the police are aware have destroyed my property, threaten and harass me, yet they were given DAT instead of Live Arrests. When she was arrested on my charge, the woman downstairs also had prior recent arrest tickets. I still don’t understand why they wouldn’t have ensured my safety with an Order of Protection. The only reason I could think of brought one of those “ugly” words to mind. I quickly began to concentrate on what I can do for the little girl.

I was walked back inside the building and developed a plan to promote the young girl, Nadia Uddin's story.

4/10/08

Today I am still not doing to well but, I have to do what I have to do! Another big meeting went well today. Made it back in time for the MPCA candlelight vigil. I couldn't stay, I had become much weaker and tired as the day went on.

MG & Stress - Evicted!

2008-04-10T18:21:00.000-07:00

sorry....a bit behind logging postings on this site....

4/8/08

I am tired today. Very very very tired. My eyes won’t stay in focus and my hands are so bad today. Fingers just don’t want to move, legs don‘t want to move, arms are like lead. I wouldn’t dare try to eat, water came out of my nose because I couldn’t swallow. This is bad, very bad! I am not sure how to describe it to those without MG. If you’ve ever been laying in bed, awake, but your body is still asleep, just won’t move…that is somewhat similar to how my body feels today. My brain is alert, my body just won’t listen to it! It is so frustrating. I am going to rest/sleep.

Okay, a bit better after resting, eyes and hands are still not good, still wouldn’t dare try to eat, but I can function somewhat… Of course, now I am feeling a little stronger and the stress hit the fan!!!! I haven’t found a new place to live yet and I am now told I am being evicted! The landlord’s attorney called and told me that I can be served an eviction notice immediately, or I can sign a paper to surrender the keys in 30days and he may let me keep this month’s rent! We didn’t discuss my security deposit. I was told the landlord doesn’t want a complainer!!!! I don’t know what happened to the verbal agreement made between the landlord and myself ( and 2R). Our agreement was that he knew 1F were a problem, he had already lost other tenants because of them, that he was evicting 1f and cleaning up building. I wouldn’t have any complaints, if he had kept his end of our agreement.
I would not have been threatened, harassed, my property damaged or abused, if he had evicted them. The landlord wouldn't even talk to 1F about their wild hallway parties, rather he'd tell us to call the Police. HE told us to complain/call. That is what instigated these people in 1F in the first place. The landlord and the Police let them get away with it and their behavior escalated. He hadn’t used evidence to begin a Nuisance Holdover - his last Holdover eviction (unpaid rent) proceeding was discontinued. It seems he never cared about upholding his agreement or ensuring the safety of his other tenants. He is angry that there is too much attention drawn to his building.

I was living a perfectly normal life. I had no symptoms when I moved in; I have been put through hell! I am now exhibiting horrible Myasthenia Gravis symptoms from all of the stress I've endured here. He never should have rented to a single female being aware of the previous problems with 1F. By doing so, he put me in danger. Everything that has happened here literally made me sick!!! The landlord should have kept his word. Now his word is that I have to go, freely or be evicted.

I realize I HAVE to move now regardless, but am still in disbelief at the conversation I was having with his attorney. I explained that, I would love to move, but I haven’t found a place yet, and am too weak with MG right now. Also mentioning that I just moved in six months ago, spent a fortune and really don’t have the money to lay out again. I had hoped I would be offered the $1500. quoted to pack up my apartment. It will cost him much more to evict me. He wasn’t able to evict 1F…I am not sure what the landlord or his attorney are thinking. I need to get some advice. We are going to speak again on Friday.

Stress … That one conversation and I am exhausted again. I went back to rest, then made a few calls. I had to find out what to do about a possible eviction. I had hoped to be out of here already. I just can’t be forced out until I find another place and am all packed. I can not believe I have to take time to deal with a potential eviction now. Just another injustice thrown in the mix. Another problem to deal with. My biggest problem before moving here was deciding what to wear! Amazing how life gets turned around so quickly. Now I have a list of problems which I actually have to prioritize in order to make time for them all! It doesn’t help that my recently exacerbated MG symptoms won’t allow me to function some days.

MG & Stress - Ugly Words

2008-04-09T13:01:00.000-07:00

Though all of the response from this blog and private emails from postings on other websites has been positive, supportive, and extremely helpful; I would like to draw attention to some negative open comments on youtube.com/degradedmyasthenic

Retaliation, vengeance are ugly words with horrific meanings and potentially perilous outcomes. I speak firsthand. Since that first call I made back in October ‘07, I have been the victim of retaliation for anyone‘s 911 call which interrupts the wild parties of the tenants in 1F. I use the word, retaliation, in reference to their behavior. Otherwise, retaliation and vengeance are virtually unused in my vocabulary, and are certainly not part of my beliefs. Ignorance is even uglier, especially dangerous when used as fodder for those other ugly words!

Most of the “ugly” comments on youtube.com are from viewers whom have suspiciously just joined, have not even watched the videos or have not bothered to review the entire story, start at the beginning, obtain all of the facts. Comments without facts, ignorance … the very ugly thing I am trying to cure, made even uglier with threats of retaliation and vengeance.

One viewer whose name is bronxcop watched one video which depicts the middle of my February 16 ordeal. Without viewing from the beginning and obtaining all of the facts he judged, similar to what those Officers did here. That is scary.

Another youtube comment is more frightening. Though the background of this youtube member, vocieofrighteousness, is actually amusing. He or she claims to be retired from civil service yet their profile claims an age of 27. Voiceofrighteousness profile (youtube channel) also depicts that this member has actually watched NO videos - ZERO, yet commented on mine as if they had viewed it. This commenter was not intelligent enough to realize their youtube.com channel shows that fact and that they had just joined youtube on April 5. If it wasn’t for the horrendous implications made, these comments would warrant no response: I would normally ignore such stupidity.

I am not fond of that word either, though I can think of no other, as the comments posted are senseless - I am not even in this video, yet my actions were commented on!! This youtube member claims that I wasted Emergency Workers time, when in fact those particular workers (videos 8 &9), are the ones wasting time by slandering and discussing me (after they blatantly refused me care earlier and after I was taken out of the building) for almost one-half hour rather than going back to work to save lives. Voiceofrighteousness accused me of living on the government, paying stabilized rent, and worse. None of these comments are true. Though, Myasthenia Gravis is a NY State recognized disability, I have not been assisted by the government at all. The building is in such disrepair, it does look as though it is a subsidized building, it is not, my rent is full market price. This member also implies retaliation for my exposure of the videos. Once again, from a supposed “retired” civil service worker, without facts, ignorant judgments and comments were made.

I am able, but have not removed negative comments, anyone with a brain has and will see through them. Those are the people I want and have on my side! Such comments only prove the ugliness of ignorance, strengthen my words, are welcome, and do not bother me.

Though living here has taught me that anything is possible, I trust that the good will see the ugly and agree: retaliation and vengeance are ugly, ugly words which should never be acted upon.

To the “good”;
On this blog, I discuss my opinions and facts regarding the actions of individuals who have responded here, I am not implying those are the actions or intent of all. I am in awe of Emergency Workers. And especially those who represent the Fire Department. To risk their own lives for the sake of others is, in my belief, truly the most selfless job. To become an EMS worker with the intent of saving lives also requires amazing attributes.
Kudos; again, wish you had been here!

On another note: June is Myasthenia Gravis Awareness month. If you haven't yet, please go to http://www.myasthenia.org/ and send those letters to your local congressmen to ensure the official Presidential Proclamation of June as MG Awareness month. They have made it very easy for all to do. They have already written the letters and the website also has a list of congressmen and addresses, including emails. MG is a rare and highly underdiagnosed disease, we need all the help we can get to increase awareness. Your support is greatly appreciated! Thanks!

MG & Stress - Justice despite All

2008-04-07T16:41:00.000-07:00

First praise and gratitude where do:
Thank you Thank you Thank you!

You know who you are. The meeting went very well. I appreciate your concern about myself and this community. I greatly appreciate your taking the time to help. Somehow, words don’t seem to capture my gratitude. I honestly can not thank you enough!

Perhaps there is justice after all.

Though, I have not found justice at my local precinct, or at least not upheld by the officers who responded here.

At the end of my previous post I stated, I know there are good, just wished you had been here to protect us from the bad & the ugly! Explaining that, despite everything, my respect for those who uphold the law still exists. Though I remain in fear of those uniforms, and the power that goes with the job; I am also in reverence of Officers who truly Serve & Protect, I mean those who honestly Serve & Protect; who care about people, their jobs, and upholding the law.
Unfortunately, out of all of the Police Officers in the local Precinct, those qualities were not evident in the few responding officers here. They chose not to Serve & Protect me, or the other tenants. Rather than stopping nuisance behavior when they had the chance, it was allowed to escalate into threats and criminally mischievous behavior. Their lack of action against these tenants in 1F has not only ruined my life; the tenants in 2R were forced to leave after just 5 months, due to the behavior of 1F and lack of Police Protection from such. These particular officers did not respect our Quality of Life, did not honor our cries for help, and did not protect us; that deserves no reverence, no respect. To those who wear the uniform, and are equally appalled at what is allowed to take place here, I thank you for your support; and apologize if I offended the “good.”

With that all out of the way. OH MY GOD! Can it get anymore unbelievable here?
Not only did I find that it is “very out of the ordinary” for an Officer to have me sign a Detective’s paperwork (especially as that Detective wasn‘t in), I found that paperwork has not made it out of the precinct yet.
Wait, it gets worse……MUCH worse…..

I had been told by those at the local precinct, that unless the culprits have a warrant, they would only be given a Desk Appearance Ticket. This meant that I would have to wait for them to be arraigned to obtain an Order of Protection (May!). That is not true!!!! It is at the Detective’s discretion whether to give a culprit a Desk Appearance Ticket or do a Live Arrest. A Live Arrest would have resulted in an immediate Order of Protection. Which I obviously need! Once again, the locals didn’t ensure my protection. This time, I am not the only one wondering, Why?

There were many harassment complaints, numerous 911 and 311 calls (from others in the building and surrounding homes as well). There is a serious problem with the 1F tenants here; these people threaten my life, harass me daily, destroy my property and have completely ruined Quality of Life for myself and surrounding neighbors! I appreciate that these tenants were finally reprimanded for their behavior, but had made it clear that I NEEDED an Order of Protection. These Detective’s used their “discretion” and chose to give out Desk Appearance Tickets rather than doing Live Arrests which would have guaranteed I was protected from those two tenants in 1F under the law, IMMEDIATELY. Why? Why? Why?
No one should have to live like a prisoner, harassed, threatened and in constant fear of the people below! The stressful situation here has completely exacerbated my disease, it has literally made me sick!
Why would they want anyone to continue living like this?
Why wouldn’t they want to ensure I get an Order of Protection immediately??????????
Why didn’t they Serve & Protect me?

Would they have done that if I was their daughter, sister, wife, friend, niece?

As I have mentioned before, two of my Uncles were “On the Job” One, retired injured on the job, the other honored for his bravery and retired as a Detective in Nassau County. Both are ill now or they would have made the trip to help. I have a deep respect for them. They have no respect for the officers who responded here either. I AM their niece. and they are appalled at what has been allowed to happen to me and disgusted at how I have and am being treated by the responding officers/ Precinct here. I hadn’t thought to call them sooner. I never dreamed the situation here would escalate to the point it did and I didn’t think references were needed for help.

My father’s side of the family were Bronx dwellers, with deli’s, laundry mats and stores in Norwood, on Arthur Ave. and throughout this side of the Bronx. They were major contributors to their Bronx communities and held in high esteem as such.
Everyone is appalled.

In my 41 years I have never had to ask for help before. I was brought up to take care of my own problems, have handled and conquered any situation thrown before me. When the situation here began to worsen, I didn’t think I needed outside help. I thought the Police would protect me. Maybe it was pride, or I was embarrassed to admit the conditions I live with, when I didn’t ask for outside help after the situation escalated further. Though, again, I thought the local Police would help. They haven’t, in fact they harmed me, and it seems they still aren’t helping.
I am obviously no longer ashamed to admit, I need help.
Thankfully, I am finally getting some. I am eternally grateful and hope you will all continue showing your support.

MG & Stress - Respect or Not to Respect

2008-04-06T12:03:00.000-07:00

I was praised for the intelligence of my decision to put this on the web, and now have been asked to defend myself…

There are many things I have accomplished which I am proud of; while baring this all on the web was essential; it is humbling. Utilizing my skills for this purpose does not make me proud. I was once a Friar, a member of one of the classiest and the most prestigious clubs. To expose my current lack of “Quality of Life” is mortifying! Besides the humiliation factor, I have always been a private person. A very social, expert networker, yet private individual who didn’t share a lot of personal facts. If I opened up to strangers, my inner thoughts were usually disguised with comedy. Most people hadn’t even been aware that I had Myasthenia Gravis. Rather than explain, I would just disappear for while if I needed rest. I absolutely did not want to promote my life to millions on the web, especially not this 1855 Nightmare on Bronxdale life: Living in a disgusting building; with classless neighbors whom I take constant abuse from; having to literally beg for help and care; being abused, humiliated, degraded by some of those whom we call to Serve & Protect; having exacerbated Myasthenia Gravis symptoms, being weakened, with blurry vision and worse from the stress. No. This is not a story I am proud to share. (Read the first page of this blog for a very little “bit of me”)

To put this all on the web was certainly not an easy decision. 1F behavior should have been stopped. I should never have had to live like a prisoner. My neighbors in 2R should not have been forced to leave. I tried everything to get help with the situation here, there were no other options. I was left no choice. There were too many "should haves" here, I needed to act. It had become a matter of saving my life.

Maybe, if I would have shared that two of my Uncles are retired from the force. Or, if I had shown officers my little gold badge, made them laugh, admitting I was once a Ring Girl for a NY Policeman’s Boxing Match! Maybe, if I had thrown some names around back then… It really never dawned on me; I hadn’t thought that “fluff” was necessary. I was brought up to believe, and had always thought, when you called for help, you got help.
I soon found out how naive that thought was. In fact, I was repeatedly reminded.

Police Officers were here many times for the wild parties the tenants in 1F threw in the hallways - many times! I called 911, then my neighbors (2R) called. Surrounding neighbors called. Nothing changed: The officers asked when we were going to move, and let the parties continue. The landlord did nothing but tell us to call the cops, the cops…It was a vicious cycle. Meanwhile hell was allowed to break loose downstairs, and we were basically trapped upstairs. I still am. After just 5 months here, 2R took the Officer’s advice, they left! I understand the tenants before them also took Police Officer’s advice and moved out after a brief stay here.

These people, myself included, should not be forced out of our homes by nuisance tenants whom have destroyed our Quality of Life. There are laws pertaining to Quality of Life and they should have been upheld. I have been told that police do not enjoy dealing with the type of domestic incidents which occur here. This had went way beyond domestic Quality of Life; the problem with 1F was beyond a nuisance and not just our problem, it is a problem for the community. Allowing 1F people to run wild and escape punishment, not reprimanding harassing, abusive criminal behavior is what ruins a neighborhood. Imagine what it does to individual lives.

It could have been stopped. The landlord should have done something. The Police could have done something: A summons for Drinking in Public, Loitering, send a patrol car by, a few warnings...It should have been stopped or been put under control way back, before I moved in. It would have been easy for responding Officers to control it in October. That was the first time 1F wild parties escalated into a death threat because I was opposed to their nuisance behavior. Instead, I was accused of inciting 6-8 nasty neighbors who block my exit! Why would I do that? I had just put a lot of effort into moving in, these 1F people were obviously wild and out of control … I dialed 911 ... just common-sense disputes their story. Instead, 1F was allowed to continue their noisy public outdoor drinking. These Officers taught 1F that they could get away with it. My lesson? I learned not to bother calling the Police, and didn't for a long time.

It could have been stopped at the end of October or in November when my neighbors (2R) called 911 on the 1F parties and wild behavior. Whether they’d point out children, underage drinking, illegal activities, the responding Officers would tell them(2R) to move and let the 1F party continue. Though all other tenants were obviously the victims, 1F could do no wrong … In the short time they lived here, my neighbors also witnessed the prevalence of injustice numerous times, and learned the pointlessness of calling for help.

By then, 1F learned no one was ever going to stop them! The situation here intensified. If someone tried to interrupt their parties with a 911 call, I was harassed and threatened. I was the first one to move in and call for help, I am blamed for every call. Many neighbors are disgusted with 1F behavior; I am NOT the only one who has ever called 911 on their drug parties. At this point though, 1F had been telling police that I bother them and deserve the harassment. Though there should be no excuse for harassing and criminal behavior, Officers didn’t bother to check with surrounding neighbors, they didn’t review the numerous 911 calls over the years here, they didn‘t take into account that there were large groups of them in the middle of a big party and one little me who lived alone above these people. Somehow these Officers whom I desperately needed to protect me and my home, didn't care that I was frightened, and ignored that it was I (or another neighbor) who dialed 911 for help. 1F actually gave officers excuses for their harassing actions, like urinating on my door! It should have been stopped right then! Instead, their excuses were accepted and 1F GOT AWAY WITH IT!

Of course, every time officers responded and allowed 1F to continue, their behavior escalated. Life became hell. Their threats of bodily harm and death, escalated into destruction of property. Now, they were locking us in the building, holding us hostage, while they partied and harassed us. I can not describe the feeling of terror experienced being trapped upstairs with no means of escape while "high" people loomed in the hallways below yelling up threats, or while I watched them piss on my door through the peephole, knowing I have just one little lock on a broken door between me and them. My neighbors shared that terror. I had an added inner fear, I kept hearing my neurologist tell me, "You know you have a life-threatening disease..." Aristotle Onassis died from Myasthenia...I was becoming weak from MG for the first time in years. I desperately need help, and we (2R & I) needed protection from these people.

1F were now so confident that they could get away with everything, the parties were wilder, they would do things to us and actually DARE us to call the Police. I was living in fear, afraid to leave the apartment alone, under duress, getting weaker, experiencing my first exacerbated Myasthenia Gravis symptoms in years. I was (and still am) SCARED! No one was helping us: Police had not helped, they had made it all so much worse.

Another "should have" day: Without going into any details....On February 16, not only did I explain the constant harassment, threats and the ability of 1F to manipulate police, I explained my disease and asked officers to call me an ambulance. The morning should have ended there. I should have been safely taken to Montefiore, where I have a neurological history, and been treated for Myasthenia Gravis. I do not expect officers or even EMS to know every rare life-threatening disease. I needed medical attention, asked for help repeatedly and I should have gotten it - PERIOD! Instead, I was denied care...repeatedly. Once again, 1F was able to manipulate officers into believing I am crazy, that I fall and I bother them all of the time. Though I had explained, and Ozzie had outright admitted to the Officers that he "Peed" on my door, these Officers chose to remain ignorant about my disease, ignore his admission of harassment, and eagerly believed 1F. They didn’t just blatantly ignore my request for medical attention; they made a judgment against me based on; their ignorance regarding my symptoms; and without bothering to check with the neighbors, 1F lies. They allowed these nasty 1F people to incite abuse. These Officers even ignored legitimate harassment report numbers and permitted these persons who threaten me daily to join in their ridicule. Common sense dictates that I was able to recite complaint numbers off the top of my head for a reason! For example, using those numbers all week in an attempt to get an order of protection. These officers didn't consider that, they had made up their minds without facts. Obviously not here to be fair-minded, Serve & Protect, they even allowed their ignorance and favorable (mis)judgment of 1F to cloud the judgment of Emergency Medical Workers. I was shown a side of “justice” which still frightens me. The entire morning taught me some horrible lessons and proved to 1F, beyond a doubt, that they were able to manipulate police. They could and did get away with anything.

Yet again, the situation here worsened. The parties, the harassment, the threats. Now, 1F was not only confident in their infallible ability to manipulate police; they proudly verbalized awareness that their word could have me taken away; that no one was going to stop their parties, but they also knew I was afraid and wouldn’t dial 911 anymore. After the last incident, my neighbors(2R) realized it would never get better here, 1F wouldn’t be stopped. They quickly found a new place to live. I didn’t have the strength or the money to move out of a place I just moved into.

I remain trapped upstairs, now not only too afraid, but too weak to come and go freely. 1F continue to party in the hallway, to talk about how I need a beating, how they know they have me “scared” Their parties were wilder, their actions much worse.
They are in and out of the hallways constantly blocking my exit. All night long, they would blast their music off an on; play ball, throwing it at my air conditioner, window planter and between my windows. That is their idea of "playing," hours of banging, harassing torture. I couldn’t call the police. 1F would just lie, officers might believe them, and now, now after February 16, I am enlightened to the horrendous fact that one officer with poor judgment has the ability to use their power and attempt to put a person away for life. No, I wouldn’t call the police. Someone else did eventually. They didn’t do me any favors. 1F still blames me for any 911 call; they took the ballgame inside and threw it at their ceiling, my floor for a while longer.

The day 1F destroyed my camera, she did it with confidence. In fact, she dared me to call the police then too. I didn’t, I let her call and lie. I’m glad the Officer didn’t come upstairs to speak with me. At that point, the stress from 1F actions, had made me a shaky, weakened, unfocused mess, whose ability to swallow and speech was becoming effected. No one understands my disease, even with the tape of her committing the act, had the Officer knocked on my door, it might not have went well at all.

Thus far, 1F had been allowed to get away with everything but murder, and that might be next. If I hadn’t used the web, and inquired elsewhere, my complaint regarding the destruction of my camera would still not be filed. This policeman did not want to help, holding onto my report and evidence for weeks before I utilized knowledge obtained from readers and insisted he file my Criminal Mischief complaint. (see previous posts). The Police hadn’t helped before, my neighbors were moving because of the lack of police protection/help. Now, several officers were reported for their misconduct/ treatment of me on February 16, it would be hard for anyone to believe they would all want to help me and stop 1F now. I was alone, terrified, and still terrorized by 1F.

Many more wild parties took place here; the criminal and harassing behavior of 1F continued. Finally, someone called 911 on one party at about 4:30am. I was blamed for the call, and as 1F had demonstrated so many times before, retaliation for police interruption of their party was imminent. 1F decided, “She called the f---n' cops on us again…I’m gonna f--- up her car.” My neighbor in 2R was still here then and had been kept up all night. I was actually sleeping through the noise, woken by 1F punching their door, then screaming out on the street. If Officers had responded to someone’s call, why didn’t they drive by again, make sure the party stopped, that 1F wasn‘t participating in additional criminal behavior. By now, the Precinct was called to this address so many times, they had to be aware that the parties here didn‘t end with one appearance of a squad car. I just listened, trapped upstairs as 1F yelled how they were urinating on my vehicle, how they were trying, yet upset they couldn’t get anything to actually break, only bend. I wouldn’t dare call the Police, especially after I heard them exclaim, “Give me a phone, Give me phone, we’ll tell ‘em crazy bitch provoked it.” Once again, they proudly verbalized their confidence in the Precinct here. I am one of the victims of the insane and criminal behavior of 1F, had done no wrong, but can not trust justice here.

I was discouraged from making this complaint as well. I again took advice from a reader and filled out a report anyway. My complaints finally made it into Detective's hands. Arrests were made. I am still wary, and it is now too late. I have to move.

1F should have been stopped long ago.

Having read just this tiny bit of my story, put yourself in my shoes; What would you do? Who would you trust? Pretend I am your daughter or sister: you probably wouldn't have let this happen: You’d definitely want me to protect myself. I am not physically strong, (for those of you whom suggested the 2nd Amendment!) I despise weapons, my family lives far, or mostly women and seniors; writing letters to government resources and the web are the only way I know how. I tried just taping incidents, gathering evidence, no one would watch. I had expended all other options, tried everything to get help. I was backed against a wall, in fear of my life with no one to trust or call for help. Thus, forced to bare my horrible story and fears on the World Wide Web. I now have the attention and support of people all over the world. I am not proud, but very grateful.

The web was meant to be my security blanket, protection from all lies, and those who had or could harm me. I have been informed that I am "making fools" of the local Precinct. I am the victim, being treated like the criminal; 1F "played" and made "fools" of the responding officers here. 1F is whom that anger should be directed upon.

It was not my intent to incite anger or disrespect. Though, I've seen a frightening side of justice, have been introduced to some officers whom do not respect their own uniforms, and have learned not to depend on a call for help; I still have a deep respect for those who uphold the law. I have met and realize there are many more Police Officers whom would not have let this happen, whom would have discouraged the wild parties and harassment way back; who care about the neighborhood they work in, who would have protected all of the innocent victims here, who would have honored a cry for help, and whom would have upheld justice.

By exposing the actions of some Officers whom have responded here, I do not mean to offend the Good. I just wish you had been here to stop the Bad and the Ugly.

MG & Stress - A Suspicious Mind

2008-04-04T09:27:00.000-07:00

4/4/08
I made a lot of calls this morning. I let almost everyone know what happened last night. (video coming soon) Besides the internet, that is my only other form of protection from the injustices I have been served here. There are bigger fish scrutinizing the little fish now and I point out every detail. As I mentioned last night, they see this type of injustice all of the time, they are fully aware of what goes on. I was forewarned, yet still can‘t believe any of it. I have a deep respect for their jobs, to have to think like they do all of the time … one month of it and I am taxed. I am now eternally grateful to a certain person for setting up my appointment, perhaps I can dump this whole nasty mess in someone else lap.

I even called the local precinct and spoke to the Detective who helped with a complaint. I was compelled to call him. I don’t know why, I have learned not to “tip my mitt” - other than to a world wide audience!! Perhaps, because he was the first person here who actually helped me. I'd like to believe he sees the injustice and is genuine in concern. He had no answers, I did not expect any. He did mention that I was doubting the integrity of an officer. I would prefer not to doubt anyone’s integrity. That is not how I was raised or lived. I despise being forced to think with a suspicious mind. Unfortunately, I have seen the ugliest side of “justice.” The situation here has taught me mistrust. I quickly pointed out that this officer’s integrity was already tarnished in my eyes: He has not been honest or truly helpful; he had actually tried to discourage me from making complaints. I would like to be proven wrong. I hope that this officer was here to help, but his actions towards me have not warranted that trust. I do respect this Detective and let it go…I am not sure why I called.

I am uncertain what I expected after speaking to the local reporter. I appreciate the support, the attention to my problem and Myasthenia Gravis. I suppose I wasn’t thinking that everyone at the 49th Precinct may read it and this blog. The internet had become my giant security blanket, a safe haven to expose everything and garner massive support. My word against theirs wasn’t working. I needed to let the world see the wild behavior of 1F, the lack of police protection, the injustice of it all; and what it had all done to my symptoms. With MG I can not always speak or respond normally. When I can, a nervous joke/laugh usually pops out, possibly just as confusing!!! If it remained just my word, I would be crushed. The word has spread, and I thank you all. I will continue -- just a little worried about the local exposure! I have not only shared with the world; my nightmare experiences with my nasty neighbors; I have also uncovered the actions of some of the officers at the local Precinct; and have not been shy discussing my wariness when dealing with anyone there.

Gosh do I wish I could turn back time!! Though it changed my life completely, I wouldn’t even go back to the time before living with Myasthenia Gravis, just six months. I wish I could just go back six months, put my “rose-colored glasses” back on, and continue enjoying my peaceful life. I am strong-willed and also blessed in that I have always been able to “get over” all obstacles and move on. When this nightmare is all over, I know I will move on, but I am scarred, my glasses shattered! "Justice" and “Trust” have whole new meanings.

On another note:
I have asked others with Myasthenia Gravis to discuss stress in relation to Myasthenic symptoms.

Does stress exacerbate your symptoms? If possible, as MDs do with pain - please put a number on how bad your symptoms get with stress, 1 through 10, 1 being lowest.

Out of six responses so far, these are the answers.

1. YES, YES, YES -- stress causes more exacerbations for me than illness, pesticides, or anything else!!!!! TEN!!!!!! Stress exacerbations last a LONG, LONG time -- several MONTHS!! If I get sick or am exposed to pesticides, the exacerbation may only last a couple of weeks.

2. Stress wipes me out, more than anything else. The worse the stress, the worse the symptoms.

3. Stress definitely exacerbates my symptoms - I'd guess that when the stress is escalated, my symptoms hit the 7-8 mark; typically my DV (double vision) & ptosis are the first things to worsen, followed by limb/girdle weakness, fatigue, and then breathing/swallowing difficulties

4. Stress most definitely makes things worse for me. And there is some science behind it for me. My face is very weak and with stress comes a lot of face use, crying, clamping teeth, etc., besides facial--also poor breathing and less sleep. I suppose my most stressful situations would be a 6 or 7 because I am most likely going to be crying and giving my face a workout that it can't handle.

5. YES!!! 8 My arms and legs get much weaker. My neck gets worse and "bobble head" occurs.

6. I find that if I am stressed, I tend to clench my teeth and my face hurts. 6

Thanks to all at Bettes Myasthenia Gravis Support Group on Yahoo Groups.

June is MG Awareness month see www.myasthenia.org

MG & Stress - Kicked Out & Suspicious

2008-04-03T20:22:00.000-07:00

March 31-April 3, 2008

3/31/08
My landlord knocked on my door and told me I have to leave today. He saw the article! He didn’t take my rent, he just wants me out. I suppose he doesn’t like the attention. I don’t either, but no one was doing anything! Once again, he told me he was evicting them and a new procedure was started. He just wants me out now. He said he wouldn’t help me in any way and he wouldn’t give up his surveillance (many dates needed). Apparently, he likes these people and doesn’t want to see them get in trouble! He called a Real Estate Agent and told him to help find a place for me, that I was a great tenant and he just lost another great tenant because he has "animals" downstairs that he can’t get rid of. I am livid. He promised to get rid of them before I moved in and redid his kitchen!! He has not done anything to deter these people, clean up the building NOTHING. I spent a fortune moving in just six months ago and now I have to spend another fortune moving out because he broke his agreement! Don’t misunderstand my rant; I have to go - believe me, I do not want to stay anywhere near here and am trying to find a place to live --I thought / hoped I would be out of here already!!! It is just the injustice…

4/1/08
I am excited. I finally have a big meeting scheduled with a High Up!!! Someone who can really do something, really help, no local politics involved. They promised to actually take the time to go over everything and help!!!! I am still in disbelief. I will share more AFTER the meeting.

4/2/08
Aaaaggghhhh! I got on the phone with a friend so she could, “walk me out of the building”/dial 911 if necessary. The door would not open!!!! The latch, which is usually taped open, had somehow become jammed and the door wouldn’t open. The old lady must have heard me, opened her door and told me it wouldn’t open. Oh boy, I knew Ozzie or one of them wouldn’t be far behind. The landlord’s worker came up and jimmied open the door. When I came back the latch was broken off. I still do not understand why they won’t just put a lock on the door!!

Another meeting tonight. A new person to talk to about the harassment downstairs and February 16th. Always wary, and will be until I’m out of this town. Put yourself in my shoes…who would you trust?

I spent some time after the meeting trying to help the MPCA promote a little girl’s plight. She has end stage renal disease, needs financial aid and a kidney, desperately! If you live in the Bronx, NY, USA show your support and stop by the Morris Park Community Association meeting, Wednesdays 7:30pm. Or contact markanthonygc@aol.com for more information on how you can help.

4/3/08
A long exhausting day. Finally home relaxing and the bell rings. Agh! I was laying down, it took me more than a minute to get up, and another to get to the door too late. I have a muscle disorder - I can’t run! Back inside to the window, too late to catch an officer pulling away. I called the precinct and let them know if anyone came back in the electric car number….to let them know I was home, just slow!

A while later an Officer D. called me, he had the complaint papers for me to sign and would be right over. Great. It’s late, I’m an exhausted mess, the place is a mess, and I’m very wary. I prefer to have a friend nearby when dealing with any officer these days. I was warned to be wary and stayed on the phone when he arrived in or with an FDNY ambulance. Yikes, I’m not too keen on seeing them either! Unfortunately, as I have great respect for their job, two of their EMTs refused me medical care. [Other Myasthenics have informed me they went to local Firehouses and hospitals, handed out information on the Emergency Management of MG. I wasn’t proactive about my disease, I was fine when I moved here, I hadn’t had symptoms in years. Though from any aspect, I would never have dreamed that would be necessary] So there they were, and here was Officer D. at my door with the Criminal Mischief complaint against Wanda the woman in 1F. Why? To be nice and save me the trip? The Detective and I have not been able to meet and get this done, but…well…I‘m wary! Exhausted, I signed the complaint, witness notification form. As always, I opened my mouth with my nervous laugh, and stupid jokes. He was polite, but wasn’t smiling! He asked about the other arrest and commented on the Detective’s name. Why couldn’t he find that out at the Precinct? I just can’t help but be wary. I wasn’t given a copy of her desk appearance ticket and I didn’t have to initial the photograph...I wasn't even read the complaint. I shouldn't have signed. I was too tired to think.
Then he went downstairs to 1F and spent some time there, about ten or fifteen minutes. Why?

Having always been a positive thinker, I can not believe I actually HAVE to think like this now: My first thought was what was HE doing here? In or with an FDNY ambulance? I know that the EMTs didn't give me a green slip or something I was told I was supposed to get, a close to my signature wound up on the discharge form I never received or saw from Jacobi. That may seem paranoid, but to say the least, I have been misled to by this officer before, and I have quickly learned that things are always as they should be here.
I’ll make some calls, inform some people, and find out how "kosher" this all was. As far as falsified Medical Records after a complaint, I had already been told, "We get that a lot." I suppose I really was naive. That makes me ill; though with my positive twist, at least the right people already know what has been tried before in a cover-up and look for it.

The FDNY ambulance was outside again about an hour later. I am not sure why. There were two men in the front. They never got out. Just sat in front of the building, idling for about one-half hour. I hadn’t seen anyone else come in, but I hadn’t seen Officer D. come in before either and there were two men in the front of the ambulance then as well.

As I have said before, the very people I may need to save my life one day, Police and EMTs now frighten me as much as the people downstairs.
I made a call, my friend is coming to get me -- I’m getting out of here for the weekend!

MG & Stress - From Web to Print & Another Loud Night

2008-03-30T17:49:00.000-07:00

3/28/08
Yikes! Last night, a friend from the MPA brought over a copy of an article in the Bronx Times Reporter this week. It is a wonderful article written by Adam Bermudez. He clearly describes my situation here; and did an excellent job explaining and drawing attention to my disease, Myasthenia Gravis. I am very grateful for that, awareness must be increased!
BTW - June is MG awareness month - see myasthenia.org for more information.

Let's pray she doesn't read the article! I am afraid...these people retaliate when they just think I dial 911 on them! If she sees this article she will probably kill me, or at least harm me in some way. I am not safe here at all. That's her 12yr old son behind her in the picture. Should she also be charged with contributing to the Delinquency of a Minor? She plans the act with him, shows him the camera, he stands there by the door as she is destroying it, then as she makes the 911 call about ME. You can also hear this kid in the middle of their wild party and violent fight, February 9-10. He was also out there with the rest of them, throwing the ball against my window planter and air conditioner March 14, when someone else called the police. This woman actually condoned Ozzie and her other kids harassing behavior, upset she commented, "Can't even play! Her 5yr old was out there too, laughing every time a ball dented my air conditioner. She lets the 20 yr old and the 12yr old drink (hear him party Feb.9-10) and the 5yr old stay up all night. He bangs and bangs and no one pays attention.
I'll bring the Detective in charge of the camera complaint the part of the videotape pictured in the article and inquire.

The Bronx Times Reporter is given away at the Precinct and I had to go there today. I have been truthful on this blog. Unfortunately, but deservedly so, I have not had kind words for most officers who have come here to deal with 1F. I wondered if they had seen the article. Since Feb. 16, seeing anyone in a blue uniform brings on a major anxiety attack. I can not forget that they have the power to make judgements based solely on their personal beliefs, true or not. I find that knowledge very scary, but bucked up and went to sign the complaint against Ozzie. He was arrested for Criminal Mischief -damage to my vehicle. No new evidence. The Detective seemed nice and helpful enough. An officer I had met at MPA was also very kind to me and helped me up the stairs.

I have seen too many injustices since living here: I’m wary as always when dealing with this precinct.

No one understands my disease! I tried to explain it at the precinct, but it's like, "speaking Greek". They don't seem to believe that stress exacerbates symptoms; that some days Myasthenics will be stronger than others; some days or weeks it will be limb weakness, sometimes eyes, maybe both, or worse. Symptoms come, go, stay, change: That is the nature of this strange disease I have. One of the reasons I didn't bother to explain it before I exhibited symptoms again recently. Without seeing it and even with, it is almost impossible to understand. There is a wonderful Yahoo Group Forum for Myasthenics. For anyone who wants to learn about MG I recommend it highly. Others who have the disease describe their symptoms, and how life has changed for them with MG. One new member described the lack of any one's understanding perfectly, "Hello, my name is...and I speak MG." She goes on to explain how people can relate to pain, gastrointestinal problems, etc., but when trying to explain MG..."it's like speaking Martian."

The Detective read my Medical Alert card, the line where it claims symptoms may mimic intoxication, and said something, like "Oh you can get drunk." I joked, but was he kidding?! I was very nervous being at the Precinct, when I'm nervous I make stupid jokes! I made a joke about my shaky, unbalanced MG walk, my waddle! The Detective said, "At least you can laugh about it." He should hear me when I have a lazy eye (MG)! Why not laugh? Should I cry? Be upset or depressed about my illness? I'd rather laugh, it truly is the best medicine.

My sense of humor was commented on though and that is compliment to me, having been in the comedy industry most of my adult life before being diagnosed. I still have the ability to find a tiny bit of humor, laugh at, or poke fun at almost everything. I realize that is a blessing.

I have used humor all of my life to get me through every situation. Some days, I can't actually smile, my face or voice may not work (MG weakness), but I am very grateful I can still find humor and laugh, even if no sound comes out!

The usual Friday night, my friend stayed over. 1F seems to act up a bit less when they know I am not alone. Just a little loud music, no major problems tonight. Ahhhh.

3/29/08
It’s a sad day. My neighbors in 2R moved today. I will miss them very much. I am looking at places not too far away from them. They moved here in October, a month after I did. The landlord also promised them 1F was being evicted and he would clean up the building. That has not happened and they just couldn’t take 1F anymore. They took the first place they looked at just to get away, far away.

As soon as their truck pulled away, the music below started. It was loud as always! They were all here, all afternoon. In and out, in and out, in the hallway. I was so nervous. Friday had been pretty quiet, now it’s Saturday, another big party night, and they were starting early! Around 8pm they all left and I thought it would be peaceful, at least until they came home. I could only pray they wouldn’t come back too drunk or high and start amusing themselves harassing me.

12:45am
They woke me up on their return: I am sure most of the neighborhood heard them. Her boyfriend was yelling at her son outside. I don’t know what was going on, they were loud, and I turned on the camera. There have been too many nights they’ve fought amongst each other then turned anger on me. I was hoping no one in the neighborhood would call the cops, that is definite provocation for them to take their anger out on me.

Apparently, her boyfriend hit her son ( the 12yr old). She went off! I thought, “Wow ... she is human!” Well, until I heard her say, “You don’t hit my son, he came out my pussy only I can….” Horrible, but that’s more like what I have grown to expect. Ozzie had went inside their apartment; now it was just her and her boyfriend. Their arguing / her yelling went on outside for a long time before they took it into the hallway of the building. Great, now I was really trapped up here. Why do they have to be so loud? I had to hear more than an hour of their argument. Her boyfriend was saying something like, ‘all day, he be throwing things … I tell him, I’m not playing … he provoked it provoked it.”
That word,”provoked” tends to bring on a slight panic attack: Though the provocation they speak of in regard to me is 911 calls on their wild parties. Regardless who calls 911, I am blamed for it and they say I “provoke” their criminally mischievous or harassing behavior. I have heard that word too many times since moving here. Tonight, well, this morning, he was talking about a 12yr old kid provoking him!! It doesn't take much. He went on and on; why he did it, why the kid deserved it… 2am and they were still going! I was so tired, but once again, now too scared to sleep. Their conversation became softer and I relaxed a bit. About 15 minutes later, finally, finally he left the building and she went inside 1F. The night, or what was left of it, seemed safer for me now. I fell asleep.

3/30/08
One of my sisters came to get me. We drove all over apartment hunting today. Nothing seemed right for me. I don’t know where to go. I have decided I will not stay in this town. Between the possibility of running into people like 1F (though I hope others don’t exist - anywhere!); and the fact that I don’t feel I can call for help here; I can not stay in Morris Park. In fact, I had a Bronx cop comment on a video. Of course, he didn’t watch the entire sequence, just picked it up in the middle. Without watching from the beginning or viewing a Nasty Neighbor video, he made a judgement without all of the facts!! Exactly what happened Feb. 16, and I am fearful could happen here again!! He didn't bother to see the video -the beginning of my ordeal, when I asked more than 4 times for an ambulance and explain my disease and harassment from 1F to the officers. Without even hearing MY earlier 911 call for ambulance/MG, this Bronx cop seemed to condone the fact these officers ignored my request for an ambulance, medical attention, the kicking, the handcuffing, ridiculing … this Bronx cop made an ignorant judgement - YIKES;

What if I fall or go into crisis with MG again? I can’t live anywhere near the Bronx! I can no longer trust the EMTs to know how to treat my disease. I asked for a premise history and haven't gotten that yet. I sent my positive MG, blood & EMG tests to the office. In case I have an emergency while I am still here, I MUST have a premise history showing I have MG, how to treat me, etc. My actual medical records need to be on file!! I absolutely don’t want to risk ending up in Jacobi again.

Then there is the worry, with all of the investigations going on ... Who do I call if I need help here? As long as I remain in this building, I don't feel safe in any aspect. I won't stay alone anymore.
I suppose I am either going upstate by my old 2R neighbors, or back to Spanish Harlem. I used to live on 99th & 3rd and believe it or not - had no problems!!! It was a great neighborhood. I wish I remained there or had sublet that apartment. I would have preferred to deal with two flights of stairs, than all of this!

Video: A little of March 30

MG & Stress - Another Arrest?

2008-03-26T18:09:00.000-07:00

3/26/08

I missed an important phone call last night; it was the detective who had my complaint about the destruction of my vehicle/property. He said it was urgent, he arrested Ozzie. I didn't even see the call until today, and he will not be in until Friday. I have no idea what happened! I am wondering if my landlord finally let him see his surveillance?! I only have my word and the audio tape and had been told that was not enough evidence. This is the guy who threatens me and urinates on my property (door, car), etc. constantly. My neighbor put it best, "If I never lived here, I wouldn't believe it." It's true, I live it and still find it unbelievable!

The landlord...one worker told me his surveillance doesn't see that far (My neighbors 2R and I have seen it, that is not true), another worker told me the camera was shut off with the electricity that weekend. Which is it? The landlord won't speak to me. Why doesn't he want to help? He promised he was evicting these people before I moved in...he never used my harassment complaints and evidence to begin a nuisance holdover. He has made no effort whatsoever to even control the behavior of 1F. I need to speak to him about moving out.

I alerted Jacobi of the blatant mishandling and doctoring of my records. Of course I waited until I sent in complaints to the Health Department, OPD, JCAHO, etc. It should not be possible for someones records to be tampered with -- I will not let it go unnoticed!!! On top of the false lab work, added in notes, a suspicious "updated chart", and so much more - I did not sign the discharge papers I was never given!! The evidence of my allegations, is overwhelming. For example an Intern, MD (who I did not see) diagnosed, no actual lab work, and achieved and impossible diagnoses from the tests he claimed were taken. OH my God is this scary. They also checked off that I had an EKG, funny no report and, well, I don't want to give that one away yet. There are so many blatant discrepancies, it is frightful. Everyone should be afraid of this!!
All of this...At any time a police officer can ignore your claims of harassment and threats, make a judgement, deny you care, an EMT can deny you care, declare you whatever they feel suitable ... then, then ... it is actually possible for someone to alter your records to try and cover their actions. This is truly, truly unbelievable, but it happened and is happening to me.

Falsifying records is a serious offense. I am on it. I am not only tired from MG, I am tired of the injustice, and, well, I probably shouldn't use the word, "corruption"?! We are talking about my health, my ah-hem, "home", MY LIFE. I am exposing everything.

Other than the smoking in the hallways all of the time and the banging child, it has been pretty quiet here, thank goodness! I am actually feeling much stronger now; do not have to take as many "breaks." Steps are still hard, the first few are okay, then by the bottom or top... Though, I really don't leave the apartment alone anymore. Tonight was another meeting and I made it out. Everyone seems to think it will get better now that they were arrested. I hope so, but time and time again, these people have proven - they don't care!! They threw a ball at my window planter and air conditioner for no apparent reason, all had been quiet then too. I am worried about retaliation. I realize the Detectives did the right thing, but am wary, at this point, I have no trust or faith in the system ....

More videos on youtube ... after all you have to see - and still might not believe it!!!

MG & Stress - Video Online & Still Getting the Runaround

2008-03-24T08:53:00.000-07:00

Well, I've done it! I have put the DVD of my nightmare experience February 16, 2008 on youtube.com/degradedmyasthenic - I am hoping my traumatic ordeal will help increase awareness for my disease, Myasthenia Gravis.
It was very hard to do, that long morning video had to be cut into ten minute bits and I had to watch it over and over again. The tranfer didn't come out too well, but I didn't have it in me to redo it! In other words, it is not clear video, but you will get the idea anyway!
Please view these videos in number order.

On another note, I also put an audio track up. It is an example of the runaround I get from the 49th Precinct cops. This officer has been claiming he is trying to help me. I began taping during this phone call, as per NYS law, when I realized this cop was doing nothing but trying to discourage me from filing reports / making legitimate complaints. I was very firm during this phone call, I wanted this officer to do his job. I let him know I am intelligent; I am not going trust or rely on this precinct, or accept anyone's word; that I am going to inquire elsewhere, find the truth, and utilize it.
This was my second phone call to this officer at the precinct the afternoon after they pissed on my car, destroyed my property and tried to break the mirror (March 15, 4:45am). For this March 15 incident I was told an audio confession of the act was not enough, he ignored the fact that my landlord should have surveillance of this act. Told me not to make a complaint. Even if there isn't enough evidence for Criminal Mischief, it was Harassment: Why does he want them to get away with what they did? Why shouldn't I make a complaint??? (Despite his advice, I did. see previous post)

The same officer had the tapes of her (1F) destroying my camera for weeks (March 1 incident) and I still did not have a complaint number. In front of witnesses, he had come to my apartment to pick up the tapes, take the complaint, but spent his time here trying to gather information about my Feb. 16 nightmare. During this taped call, the officer told me the tapes of her commiting the act and now a confession tape, was still not enough evidence for a Destruction of Property complaint. He claimed he spoke to an ADA on my behalf and that they do not prosecute things in the Bronx like they do in other counties and States! I had no idea the Bronx had its own laws! I told him if he didn't want to file my report I would just have to come to the precinct and make my own complaint, let the detective determine if there was enough evidence. This officer called me back later and I got the complaint number - he asked me to keep it a secret!! Why? So it can get lost? He tried....the detective who had the complaint, and who I took it upon myself to reach out to later in the week, said he had the complaint - but with no name on it!! Funny, this officer who is supposedly "breaking his back" to help me, forgot to put my name on the complaint; he never gave the detective my tapes either. During one call this cop had claimed he gave the tapes to the detective, the next, he said they were sealed as evidence. Helpful???
Same cop promised me he would talk to the detective and make sure she would not be arrested until I was out of the building (or end of month) 1/2 hour later she was arrested! He claimed he didn't see the detective to tell him, that is not the story I heard!

I had also given this same cop some info and another tape at the MPA meeting and he told me to, "stop writing your name and phone number on everything." He literally scratched off my information. How is that helping? It may help to ensure my paperwork and videos are lost in the precinct shuffle. That does not help me. I may be physically challenged right now, but my brain is intact!

There has been many grave injustices served me here. Hence this form of protection, videotaping incidences and outpouring them on the web: Again, I am letting the world scrutinize the behavior of 1F and the actions of the local precinct.

3/ 21/08
As difficult as it was to be in a room full of blue uniforms, I was escorted to the precinct to sign the complaint/ arrest and ran into the abovementioned officer. The detective was held up in court. This officer told me he would tell the detective to stop by my apartment later and get my signature. Funny, when I called the precinct later and spoke to the detective, seemed he had no intention of stopping by. He said there was "no rush." Other than, "sometime in May," I still have not been told her exact court date. I suppose I will have to call the court to find out.

My friend escorted me to the Precinct and stayed over again. I am not doing well with MG and will not stay here alone anymore, especially on the weekends. Around 11pm there was an ambulance outside. Grandma must have had a heart problem, we could hear her yelling at the EMTs. She did not go to the hospital. It stayed pretty quiet after the ambulance left. Until around 2:30am when these people started blasting music. They don't even care about there own mother/grandmother. Their music was very loud up here, my friend was angry, banged her foot down on my floor, I was furious. The last thing I need is to instigate these people, I don't even want them to know I am home! I made my friend promise, if she was going to stay here, she would have to just take it: There is no banging on the floor because of their loud music, no going out my door and saying something to them while they harass me, absolutely no retaliation for whatever they do, and that includes calling 911. If anyone calls 911 on them, they punish me i.e. March 15. After all that has happened here and especially Feb. 16, I fear the ability of 1F to manipulate the police and the police themselves. When she(1F) destroyed my camera she called 911 on ME. The morning they destroyed my car in retaliation of someone's 911 call re: their wild party, I taped 1F saying, "Give me a phone...I'll tell him crazy bitch provokes us like always." Regardless of my contrary evidence, 1F gets away with that. The precinct here allows excuses/lies for destruction of property, peeing on doors and more. They do not want to be bothered with the truth. I have witnessed, taped it, and lived it.
I do not need more stress. My friend understood.

MG & Stress - The Nasty Neighbors...

2008-03-20T16:26:00.000-07:00

3/20/08
There she was, back from the precinct at approx. 1am. An hour later she had some guy over and they were discussing what they are going to do to me. Yikes!!! At about 4am, he broke a bottle outside and left in a cab. I have no idea who he was, hopefully not the Chico or Louie she spoke about when she admits destroying my camera. She claimed they would break my face. This is all because I called 911 about their wild drug party way back. I do not feel well at all today, I'm too weak physically to deal with this stress ... I am trying desperately to move.
Coming soon a small sample of my hell ... meet my nasty neighbors.

MG & Stress - She's Arrested - I am in Prison

2008-03-20T02:07:00.000-07:00

3/19/08
Another Morris Park Community Association Meeting tonight. A friend, Donna walked me out and over to the meeting. I am not so sure everyone cares about me, but this is their community. I just moved here a few years ago, and to this building 6 months ago - I care! I tried to get that point across but am not so sure I did. I informed everyone what happened this weekend and how I appreciate the 911 calls. I also let them know I am the one who is tortured because of those calls. I am not quite sure which is worse; the 911 calls stop that action for a while, but then they take it out on me. This weekend for instance, the 1F wild party Friday night/Saturday morning they thought I called the cops, (he says that on the tape), they get mad and go outside piss on, then try to break something on my car. I was so tired due to MG, I actually fell asleep through part of their unbelievably loud party, next thing I know I am awakened to yelling and am being punished! Living here is surreal.

Officer D. had my criminal mischief complaint for weeks now and held on to it, telling me there isn’t enough evidence, see my previous posts! As I mentioned before, I had to call him on that. Plus, now I have her confession, she outright admits destroying the camera. I had finally got my complaint in or so I thought. Today, I called the precinct to see what happened. I found out which detective had my complaint and spoke to him. He informed me he had a complaint for that crime/address but with no name on it. Huh? He didn’t have the tapes either! Officer D. claims he wants to help, Officer D. took all of the info … so why didn‘t the complaint have my name and birth date?; why did it take so long?!!!! Three weeks for the complaint to be put in and no name????? I am not Jewish, but that is not Kosher! The detective informed me he would be by after the meeting to pick up the tapes. At the Association, Officer D. took another tape of the camera incident and told me he would make sure the Detective would get the tape and knew not to arrest her until I move. Donna and I went back to my apartment, chatted for a while when the detective called. I thought he wanted the tape I gave to Officer D. but no… he was already here to arrest that woman. Huh? He hadn’t even seen the evidence yet, Officer D said he would tell him to wait until I move…what happened? He called from downstairs to make sure he had the right woman and for the tapes. I couldn’t go down there. I sent Donna down with the tapes and the paperwork I had prepared. He was talking to the 1F woman for a long time, she actually said right in front of him, “Those two are done.” He said, “Unfortunately for you, she has evidence...surveillance…” They continued talking for a while before he finally took her out. She was smoking a cigarette by his vehicle before she got in it, no cuffs. I was a bit taken back: One, she just threatened me in front of the detective, Two, she has committed a crime and Three, I fell because of my disease, Myasthenia Gravis and was kicked and handcuffed by officers because she and Ozzie said I was crazy!!! Though I asked for an ambulance 10 times and repeated the name of my disease way over 50x I was handcuffed -- because I couldn't get up at the officer's request!!! She threatens me constantly, harasses me constantly, destroys my property and she gets to smoke…no cuffs…. Huh? She was out after ten and back here by 1:05a.m..
It didn’t end. She had a friend over planning my demise. Donna yelled, “Shut Up.” because of their conversation, she was trying to sleep. I was inside and hadn’t heard them talking until she yelled out. I was able to get a portion of their plan on tape. Her friend then broke a few bottles in the alleyway and left. I wonder if that was the Chico or Louie she spoke about in the abovementioned tape, the people who would, “break crazy ladies face.” Read all of this blog, look at the videos, the only thing crazy here is their behavior and the lack of protection from it.

(more videos at www.youtube.com/degradedmyasthenic )

Officer D. didn’t keep another promise, Officer D. also has 6 friends who did not follow protocol. I made a mistake; I “tipped my mitt” tonight; I let him know I will not let those officers get away with that; I let him know my intelligence level (well, almost), that he was not dealing with a fool; I let him know that my records from Jacobi have changed from the originals, that I knew that, and that I was would make sure the doctor who signed off on the false records goes in front of the Disciplinary Committee and is penalized for his actions. I probably shouldn’t have let them know I have a brain…that woman was taken to the precinct tonight and these people in 1F really want to kill me now. They were talking about it right in front of the camera which got her in trouble tonight. They’ve threatened my life before; now I am pretty sure they are serious. I can not leave my prison/the apartment at all now, and can not move soon enough. I love living…these people will kill me!

MG & Stress - More Complaints & Life

2008-03-20T00:25:00.000-07:00

3/17/08
Just leaving the apartment is a big deal now. 1F is blocking the hallway so often, it’s harder and harder to exit the building freely. I was finally able to get a ride to the Precinct and file a complaint; harassment, 1F urinating on my car, Destruction of property/ my car antenna (they tried to break it, but could only bend). I am still weak and wobbly, unable to hold focus and made sure to inform everyone of my muscle disorder so they do not misconstrue my symptoms: Those uniforms still frighten me. I couldn’t help but think of those six ignorant officers on the 16th and pray I didn’t fall while in the precinct. I wanted to be strong but felt myself getting weaker as the officer informed me I will need the tape if I want to go to Civil Court for the damage. I informed him that this was about the constant harassment, threats and now destruction of property, I am not worried about the damage to my vehicle I am worried that these tenants may damage me!!!! I also inquired about the harassing ballgame Thursday night. He asked if my air conditioner still worked? I tried to have a sense of humor, “It’s cold, I didn’t even dawn on me to try it!” He didn’t laugh…I left it at that. Then we had to get back in…
[complaint #1808]

3/16/08
We had a family gathering today. My nephew live a few blocks away, but my sister came from Jersey to pick me up to go back to Jersey. It’s always nice to see the family, we don’t all get together often enough. This gathering was a bit sad for me. Even at my worst with MG symptoms in the past, I was never this weak. I really never let anyone know what I was feeling or let them see me like this: or I always made light of it, or a joke. Everyone deal with things differently, humor has always been my best medicine! (keep in mind, I was heavily involved in the comedy industry before being diagnosed) My lazy eye was unavoidably noticed in the past but I would even make jokes about that: I would cover one eye so it would rest and be normal, and the other eye would go lazy, “Look what I could do?!” I would laugh. I tried my humor again today, it just didn’t seem as funny. No one tried to make me feel differently, they tried not to really look at me. I could tell it was a bit of a shock for everyone. I know they all love me, but they didn’t want to see me like this either.

3/15/08
I spoke to the landlord’s worker about the destruction of my vehicle, the ballgame on my air conditioner and harassment. That was pointless.
How could I trust anyone at that precinct after all that has been allowed to go on here, and especially after February 16? I did try. Then I realized I am too intellingent for that…
I called Officer D who is, “trying to help me.” Almost two weeks ago, he had taken videotaped copies of 1Fwoman destroying my property (camera) and was supposed to be filing a complaint for me. Today I informed him that I now have a videotape where she outright admits destroying my camera and demonstrates how to her boyfriend. He told me that still may not be enough evidence, it may still only be a harassment complaint!!! He tried telling me he wants to help but he doesn’t want to see her get arrested and release because I don’t have enough evidence. Pleeeaaase! I may have a disability but it hasn’t effected my brain! She is going to get arrested and immediately released anyway, it’s a misdemeanor. Thank God for the web and all of your support! I already knew, but found out from professionals in the Criminal Justice field, that it is not even a police officer’s job to determine whether there is enough evidence. A Policeman takes the complaint. Destruction of property automatically goes in as Criminal Mischief, a detective gets the case, the DA and he will determine if there is enough evidence for an arrest/prosecution. I had to call Officer D. on that fact. Supposedly a complaint is in. He told me not to tell anyone…ssshhh.
There has been a grave injustice served me here. I may not be street smart, or know how to break the law like the people in 1F, but I know how to find the law and protect my rights. I am feeling a bit stronger (MG) and determined to protect myself; outpouring my story on the WWW, evidencing the truth, gaining support. I am letting the world scrutinize the disturbing behavior of 1F and the conduct of the local Precinct. There is a sense of security, knowing that thousands of people whom I’ve never even met, care. Thanks!

During the abovementioned call to Officer D., I had also mentioned that the tenants in 1F “pissed on” and tried to destroy my vehicle earlier this morning. He asked if I had the incident on tape. I am too fearful of these people to stick my videocamera fully out of the window at 4:45a.m., after they’ve had a wild all night party, and while they are out front amusing themselves by harassing me and destroying my property!! Somehow it never matters what I've seen or heard... I informed him I had only snuck my camera on the windowsill and had audio of them announcing their name, and admitting the act; surveillance proving they had a wild party and I never left my apartment (I now feel the need to defend myself to anyone in this precinct); and my landlord’s outdoor surveillance camera views up the block where my car was parked… He replied that unless I had them actually committing the act on tape … What?! I thought he was “trying to help” me! Perhaps I am jaded … that makes me think; If he was really trying to help protect me, shouldn’t he be encouraging me to go to the Precinct and make the Destruction of Property complaint; or at least go to the Precinct to make a harassment complaint report? Common sense dictates, the more evidence I can bring forth to the Detective and DA, the stronger case I would have. My friends on the WWW agree.
Officer D. admitted knowing of the Thursday night ball game which included hitting the building between my windows, my air conditioner and planter. He said, “That was taken care of.” I informed him, I didn’t call, he knew someone from MPA had. I asked if that was considered harassment, no reply.

MG & Stress - They "Piss" on my car...

2008-03-15T02:18:00.000-07:00

3/15/08 - barely!!

OH MY GOD!!!!
It was a loud party in 1F tonight, perhaps one of the loudest ever. Despite the noise, I was so weak and tired, I couldn't keep my eyes open. The one time I was thankful to have MG! At 2:30a.m. the incredibly loud music coming from 1F woke me up. I taped a minute of it but was just too tired to care and thankfully fell right back to sleep.
About 4:30a.m. they woke me up again. This time there was a very loud bang and some yelling. I thought they might go after the camera again, so I got up and turned on the videocamera. It wasn't the surveillance camera they were after. They found another way to mess with me. They all ran outside and to my car. I am not sure what they were doing it was dark, but it couldn't be good. They were yelling, "Ozzie, Ozzie", pointing him out to the right car. I can hear him say, "I pissed on her car, pissed on it..." The kid's father was laughing hysterically. I peaked, Ozzie was messing with my antenna. I would have to amplify the tape to hear it all, but the 1F woman was saying, "...it wouldn't break...we tried, no matter what we did..." The kids father said (to Ozzie), "You get an E for effort." Grandma was inside and yelling at them. How can her bad heart take all this?

What is wrong with these people? Who knows what they tried to break, I haven't been driving since exhibiting MG symtoms, I've barely left the apartment! I did venture out on Wednesday and noticed a flat tire. Those are new tires, so I thought it odd but left it at coincidence, now I am not so sure. This morning (4:45a.m.) all of them outside just to harass me, mess with my car ....The woman goes on to say, "Give my a phone...I tell them this crazy bitch always provokes shit." This is how confident they are that they can manipulate the police.

I am exhausted, weak, and now I am shaking. These people torture me for no reason. They do not have a bit of a conscience, no self respect or respect for others ... I could go on. I used to pride myself in being able to see some good in everybody or to see deeper and reason why people do hurtful things. There is no reason, no logic here. Their behavior is unethical, criminal, and inhumane.

I can't leave my apartment and walk by their door to go outside and look at my car right now. I am sure, even if I can obtain the landlord's or the MPA's surveillance, the police will not do anything if I dial 911. As she said, she'll just tell them I provoked it. Those in 1F repeatedly tell the police, I deserve it, and though there should be no excuse for any threats, harassment or criminal mischief, the police have always accepted that excuse!! The police actually believe I would mess with these type of people!! Me; who, anyone who knows me will tell you, loves to laugh, have fun and live (without abnormal neighbors, of course)! Me; who lives alone, has to walk by their door to get out of the building and has Myasthenia Gravis which means grave muscle weakness (even at my MG best I do not have full muscle use, and risk falling or worse at anytime)!!
The police have not once told these people they can not party and do drugs or even smoke a cigarette in the halls or right outside the building at all hours, that their children shouldn't be either drunk or in the middle of it. Not one cop who has been here in my presence (and most have been here between 2-5a.m.) has ever said, "If you are so worried about your mother or grandmother and her heart, you should get out of her apartment and stop putting her in the middle of wild parties and violent fights at all hours!" Never mind a policeman saying stop harassing and threatening the lady above you! At this point, I have no confidence in the police, they have turned a blind eye to the obvious truth. Their conduct here has been disturbing, and after February 16, I am frightened of their power, and possible ignorance...hence the outpouring of my story all over the web.

This morning I have surveillance proving they had a big party and that I haven't left this apartment at all. I have the audio tape of them saying they peed on my car and tried to break it, grandma yelling at them in Spanish. My neighbor can attest to the fact that she couldn't sleep because of their loud party. I suppose, I will try to get a ride over to the precinct to make a complaint. What else do these people have to do to me until the police do something?

I wish I could get out of here right now. I am so tired, every muscle feels like lead, I can barely see or type...but I can not go back to bed...who could sleep knowing there are crazy people downstairs whom amuse themselves daily by harassing, threatening me and destroying my property?

Now it's 6am and one of them has been pounding on their door to get in for about ten minutes. They bang so loudly my glasses rattle. They do that all day and night; they bang on the door to get in, seems not one of them has keys. Even when they go out to smoke, they bang or pound on the door to get in. Grandma takes her time getting to the door and they just pound away until then. When grandma gets close, she screams, "Que?" And whoever is on the other side proceeds to yell out their names a few times. It's a 10 to 20 time a day, sometimes more often, occurrence, but this morning it is intimidating. It was Ozzie and his girlfriend yelling to go back in. The one who had just run out to my car and peed on it. The one who has previously peed on my door and said he won't mind doing a month in jail just to f-- me up, the one who calls me a White Mother F---. I breathe a sigh of relief when grandma finally opens the door.

I have to get out of here. I think I am going to move far away with my neighbors...

Please view all of the videos on this blog or at www.youtube.com/degradedmyasthenic They evidence my statements, the incidences here and the character or lack thereof, of 1F.

To recap....in case you skipped a few posts: I spoke to them ... that didn't work .... so I finally called 911 on their wild druggie party back in October (the Landlord had told me he was evicting them before I moved in, perhaps they also hold me responsible for that. Those proceedings were marked discontinued around Feb. 20)

In January, I realized the 1F occupants were able to manipulate the police into thinking I provoke them and deserve the threats, harassment and worse. I began taping the incidences thinking justice would prevail, Ha!
That didn't work, so in February, my neighbors in 2R and I set up the security camera I purchased. [Again, the view is of the two steps heading upstairs, I can not see any of them, if they stay where they are supposed to be, near their apartment.]
March 1, 1f outright destroys the camera...and admits it, all on tape - still no justice! The camera will never be the same, but it is still a bit of a deterrent. They still use the halls and have wild parties but the camera does deter them from smoking crack or dope in the hallway now. It infuriates them. These are not normal people.

...I have to rest....thanks all for your support!

video of them peeing on my car....more surveillance & grandma yelling at them coming soon

MG & Stress - Another Week in Hell & she admits damaging my property

2008-03-14T15:29:00.000-07:00

Since she moved her belongings in, all day long the woman from 1F and her boyfriend are in and out of their apartment, using the hallway like a smoking lounge, an extension of the apartment. In the morning they come out in their boxers or pajamas, drink coffee and smoke and talk. Then for the rest of the day and night every 15-30minutes or so they are in the hallway, smoking, hanging out, talking.

These are the people who threaten my life - they are still allowed to block the halls and the only exit. I believe there are now five or six people living or permanently residing in apartment #1F.

I have been trying to find a new apartment...
I have been increasing awareness for my rare disability Myasthenia Gravis. and have also been busy utilizing the World Wide Web: Posting videos evidencing my Nightmare on Bronxdale including; the harassment I endure; the disturbing character of those in 1F; goings on here, the lack of police protection (to say the least) etc. Slowly, I am gaining support from all over the world.

3/13/08
I will repeat...I should not be able to see anyone from 1F on the surveillance...as demonstrated in many posts...it's there for many good reasons.
I hear their door and look up. Once again, on my TV screen there was that woman in her favorite shirt and boxer shorts, along with the kid's father/her boyfriend in his tank top and boxers. Hanging and smoking in the hallway. She started pointing her finger at the camera, And outright admits spray painting it, and, "I took bleach, I sprayed that shit all up." She also claims she has a right to take it and break it. She doesn't even have the right to be smoking in the hallway, but she doesn't know that ... she has no idea what is right and what is wrong. She goes on about how she knows I am scared, and to threaten me. I am nervous, it's just a matter of time now... video coming soon

My neighbor came with me to another Morris Park Community Association Meeting tonight. . She doesn't really care what happens with the building or to the 1F people anymore --they are moving far away!! I think she cares about what happens to me and was nice enough to take the time for the meeting; and to let the community know why they are moving ... because of the people in 1F and the landlord’s broken promises.
One member had spoken to my landlord. He told this member that he was evicting those people and that they are fighting him. I wonder why he left out that the February proceeding was discontinued. He told the same thing to Officer D.
I asked why the landlord doesn't just fix the locks or the intercom .... little things that will help to protect my safety. One guy said, "Why, just so those people could break it on him again?" Huh? They want to break my face / kill me, I am not that concerned about what happens to his locks and intercom system!
Others there were still sympathetic, they offered to call the police or come over if they see 1F acting up. I suppose there isn't much else anyone can do at this point. I have to move regardless.

Last week, they viewed the tape of the woman from 1F destroying my camera and said there may be reasonable doubt as to who committed the crime as we don't actually see her destroying the camera on film and they could argue that there may be someone behind her on the stairs. As per my last post, I had found the five second clip when I opened the door with a videocamera, she speaks and it's easy to match the audio to the other surveillance tape. On this tape, you can clearly see there is no one behind her on the stairs, there is no one else in the building who could have committed the act. All of a sudden, this may not be enough evidence either...I do not trust the 49th Precinct…If they help me now...well, I will leave it at, I have been served nothing but injustice since moving here.
We'll see what happens next week, when I bring the tape of her admitting she did it.

3/14/08
The electricians just knocked on my door. No electric again today. This is the third time since I moved here I have not had electric. Two days with no electric in October. Over the Christmas holiday someone downstairs "accidentally" shut off my circuit breaker, so I came home to spoiled food and no lights; and now today, they don't know for how long....
….Only 3 hours of darkness. But hence, the intercom works...Yeah...
Then I had to make another statement. It exhausts me reliving the February 16 nightmare ordeal. The investigators made me a bit nervous. It is a humiliating and degrading, frightening experience which is very hard to talk about. I had a slight anxiety attack, then was extremely weak…I just wanted to sleep.
Again all day long the woman from 1F and her boyfriend were in and out of their apartment, smoking and talking in the hallway, sitting on the steps to the upstairs apartment…blocking my exit.
Then, around 8pm or so Ozzie, the 5yr old, her 12yr old and a couple of other kids and adults went outside to play ball. You would think that is normal behavior. However, part of their game was hitting the building and trying to hit my planter and air conditioner. It was loud and scary!! Why won’t these people leave me alone? They have free run of the building, I am a prisoner in my apartment, afraid to walk by them.
I was too petrified to do more than peak out my front window during this whole event. They were right out front, throwing the ball at my window planter and air conditioner. Boom Boom Laughter Boom. I just sat here in fear, waiting for them to break my window, send my air conditioner crashing down, or start yelling harassing or threatening statements to me, as per their other form of amusement. Dialing 911 has always proved futile in dealing with 1F, they manipulate the officers and it infuriates them, adding to my hellish existence here; besides, after February 16, I wouldn’t dare. I didn’t even call March 1 when she destroyed my property (she called!).
Boom Boom Laughter Boom ... About 45 minutes went by.
Then it got quiet for a minute, I don’t know who but someone called the police or a patrol car noticed what was going on and stopped by the building to talk to these people. For a moment, I was so thankful. Then I heard Ozzie telling the officer that they were just playing football, I started to shake. Sure enough, the Woman came out and blamed me for the policeman's presence I could hear her saying something like, “…that crazy lady again. …. The other cop didn’t stop, one passed by before he didn’t stop. …can’t even play.”

…I am all for playing - when it doesn’t include harassment, hurting anyone or damaging property. I was actually glad to hear the 5yr old outside, they don’t let him out often, he doesn't go to school / interact with anyone other then his family, the people in 1F: He is growing up thinking their behavior is normal. He was having so much fun, laughing so loud every time someone hit my air conditioner or planterbox. His mother, father and grandmother could all be heard approving. That was sad. Not quite the lessons I was taught...

When she was done b--ching about me and the cops, they all came inside, but didn’t stop playing! They started playing ball in the house and throwing it up on their ceiling / my floor.
It could have been much worse...
I have to get well...I have to get out of here.

Video: For those of you who may be thinking "Why doesn't she just move?"

Video 2 - Carerro admitting she destroyed my camera, threatening me and talking about me being scared...

MG & Stress - Oh No....

2008-03-10T20:02:00.000-07:00

Yikes!!!
The woman, (kid's mother/daughters of the old lady downstairs) had a Uhual out front and was moving in her stuff!! She was bringing in garbage bags, and garbage bags filled with her stuff!!!
My neighbors in 2R saw that and have had it...they are moving...found a place...far away!
I HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE too! I can't be the only tenant living right above a family who blocks my exit and wants to kill me.

Officer D. picked up the tapes of her destroying my camera and is filing a complaint for me. Now that I think about it, yikes...they threatened me for calling 911 on their drug parties: What will they do to me if she gets arrested?

The other night these people were in the hallway plotting, "just break it (the surveillance camera)". The kid is up banging every night and it's getting worse. Every time I feel a bit stronger something stressful here takes place and it exacerbates my weakness. This is truly a nightmare.

I received a letter from the landlord's attorney today! The landlord is "concerned" and is "...taking appropriate action to ensure the building remains a safe, healthy and comfortable environment for all of his tenants..." Bull S---!! Pardon me...
The place was never safe, or any of the above, he knew it before we moved in, he promised us these people would be out and he would fix up this dilapidated building. We still don't have an intercom system, the doors downstairs are jimmied open with tape (no keys), the steps are falling apart, he hasn't even put one smoke detector in the hallways as I requested, the halls are never cleaned, my door...I could go on and on...but most importantly...he allows the tenants of 1F to have wild drug parties, hang out and smoke everything in the hallways!
In this letter dated March 5, his attorney states an eviction proceeding IS taking place. According to the Bronx Housing Court website, it was a holdover and reads, "discontinued" as of February!!

And now he allowed another one of those people to move into the one bedroom #1F apartment!!!

Video 1 = March 10-11, 2008; the Hallway at 1855 Bronxdale Ave. with the kid and the grandma up all night

Video 2 = moving in and a new plot to "break" my security camera

MG & Stress - A Glimmer of Hope

2008-03-06T07:28:00.000-08:00

3/6/08 I finally slept last night. Not really in peace, but with some peace of mind. I had finally went to a Morris Park Association meeting and brought our problem to the community. I felt that I finally had support, the people in my neighborhood wanted to hear the whole story, they wanted to help. Thank GOD!
I was having a very bad MG day. It was physically difficult for me to walk over there, emotionally harder to show my face there. [I had only mentioned to a couple of my new friends in this neighborhood, “If I ever fall or need an ambulance, just tell them MG.“ I had assumed EMTs would know what that meant, I knew the acquaintances I told didn‘t. I never elaborated, it is a rare disease most never heard of, they hadn’t seen me in this condition, and couldn’t possibly grasp what the symptoms do to me just by an explanation.] A few of the people at the meeting had already met me as the neighborhood girl who was always smiling and laughing , going and doing, full of confidence, energy and life. I always had a funny story to share and was enjoying making people laugh with me again. Now these neighborhood people had to see me like this, a shaky myasthenic mess, who can barely walk, speak, see or respond normally, with nothing to laugh about, and not enough confidence to look anyone in the eye. I had hoped to keep my disability a secret for a lot longer. Not just because I already had seen first hand how people treat me differently when I am sick, but, well, I never even wore a medic id bracelet (I always carried medical alert cards in my wallet). I never wanted to advertise, weak woman lives alone!! I see now that was not smart on my part, had more people known about my disability before, I might have been helped, not kicked, handcuffed and called, “Crazy” while I desperately needed medical attention.

As a believer in fate, I think, “Maybe that is why I am in this hell right now? Maybe I am supposed to be spreading the word about my life threatening, auto-immune, muscle disorder, Myasthenia Gravis.” An EMT, police officer or any person might kill a Myasthenic person because of their ignorance regarding the disease and its symptoms. I love life and know now, it is not only crucial to my future and safety, but to everyone with MG, I MUST help to make everyone aware of Myasthenia Gravis and its symptoms! (please see www.myasthenia.org)

I did explain my disability at the meeting. I have to, not just to make people aware about MG, but because of my appearance. I am quite aware of how I appear to others when I exhibit MG symptoms. I don’t want or need pity. I guess I do have a bit of confidence left, I know I can get strong again, I just need help. The situation here / stress is what exacerbated my condition. If I can eliminate this nightmare, it would be a huge step toward remission again. I am already on medication that should be eliminating some of the weakness and my symptoms. I am convinced it is not working because of the stress and fear that I live with.

Again, everyone at the meeting listened with genuine concern to the problems my neighbors(2R) and I have had in this building - with 1F; they all offered support, many offered help. It was a comforting feeling. It wasn’t just my neighbors and I, we weren’t alone anymore. I wished I had went to a meeting sooner.

Two police officers were there, Officer D., who my neighbor and I had already made aware of the situation here and another officer. Though they listened, seemed to want to help, treated me kindly with respect and like the victim I was, not the perpetrator those people in 1F always try to make me out to be, and I appreciated that: I still found fear at the sight of those blue uniforms. I am not sure if I will ever get over the injustice I have been served while living here; I am especially traumatized by the hellish, and terrifying morning I suffered on February 16.

I was very weak by the end of the meeting. It had been a very long and productive day. The officers walked me home. I felt safe walking by the door to 1F with the men in blue. Though, when I forgot where I had put my door keys, in the back of my mind I thought, "Oh God, I hope these officers understand my disease, how stressed, weak and exhausted I am." These particular officers gave me no reason for that thought, but I still found it difficult to have confidence in those uniforms now.

I called my neighbors in 2R and told them the good news, “We are not alone anymore!” Feeling as I do about the situation here, they had already started to pack. They are a newly married couple, this was their first apartment outside of a parent’s home, they don‘t really want to move either; I think I heard a sigh of relief on the other end of the phone. I hung up, uploaded another piece of evidence (see below), and fell right to sleep. Ahhhhh. Thank you!

RE: My last post/ the destruction of my surveillance camera. The officers and others watched the tape tonight. Though it’s pretty obvious who did it, the people in 1F know the system and didn’t show their face at the moment they were destroying my property. I am told, it may be hard to prove (legally) who did it. Someone from the DA’s office will be at the meeting next week, I am to bring the tape then and see if it is enough to make an arrest. Once home, I took out my video camera and uploaded more "evidence". I had opened the door for about 5 seconds on Saturday, while she was destroying my camera. I didn’t think I needed it before tonight, but this may just be enough. During those few seconds, she looked right at my camera and taunts, “Go ‘head mami, take a picture, Call the cops, you can call them ... let me call for you.” They can match the audio to that same line on my surveillance tape ... maybe, just maybe, they can arrest at least one of these people whom threaten my existence. This new video is now on my last post....here's a still from it.

MG & Stress - Damage My Property & Manipulate the Cops

2008-03-03T13:59:00.000-08:00

The culprits and the camera. See video below.

3/1/08 - It never ends!!!
With their music, argument, and all the night before I went to bed about ... 3a.m.-ish!, but I woke up feeling a little stronger or maybe just happy at the prospect of getting out of here, a new apartment...hope for remission...

It was early afternoon when I heard the mother of the kid, come out of the apartment to smoke. I am not sure what made me hit the record button on my VCR, but I did. I watched the surveillance, she appeared to have just woken up and just notice the camera (though the night of Feb. 16 they were telling the cops about it as they were allowed to videotape my nightmare ordeal). This woman, who is constantly threatening me, and harassing me, calling me, White Bitch" and "Trailer trash," comes out into the filthy hallway, skin hanging out all over the place, in socks, sits on the steps to the upstairs apartments and makes a call, smokes, ashes all over, coughs, spits.

Keep in mind apartment 1F was rented to the grandmother, the 5yr old left with her, now Ozzie seems permanent. The rest, including this woman, just come over to party and crash.

[Again, my surveillance camera was bought because of the threats, harassment, wild drug parties. It allows me to see when the hallway down there/exit is "safe" and to be aware if anyone attempts to come upstairs again. Besides 1F harassment at my apartment door, the downstairs doors are never locked and there is no intercom. It was hooked up a couple of weeks ago. It is set so I am able to see a little of the hallway and two of the steps leading to the upstairs apartments. I am only able to see a persons feet at 1F's door, unless they go beyond it - where they shouldn't be - in the halls or on the steps!!! ]

This woman goes back into apartment 1F and comes back out with a plastic spray bottle, and her 12yr old (Picture 2) to show him the camera. Then Ozzie (picture 3) comes out to look at the camera, and they talk, "Crazy..." I am pretty sure she says, "Watch, I'll make her call a cop." I'd have to raise the volume to be positive, but I wouldn't put it past her; it would be another opportunity for her to manipulate the police into thinking I bother her mother/ the grandmother and am crazy.
To me, their behavior is insane....
She goes back into 1F, Grandma says something from inside and the woman responds as she comes back out, sits on the steps and repeatedly sprays/destroys my camera with some type of chemical, while Ozzie and her 12 yr old son come out to participate and assess the damage. I am shaking again, but I have to make her stop, the picture from the camera was completely white and the audio was crackling. I gather the strength and nerve, turn my video-camera on and open my door. She looks up at me, knowing she has been able to manipulate the police every time taunts, "Go 'head mama take a picture. Call the cops. ... You can call them; let me call for you...." Shaken, weak and intimidated, all I could say in the middle of it was, "Uh huh," and mumbled something while I quickly shut the door and heard her say, "Trailer Park Bitch...." and Ozzie make some sort of strange noise.

This woman who just destroyed my property proceeds to call 911 with a FALSE REPORT!
My life here is surreal!! I am shaking, weak, and in disbelief ... I can hear her saying that I do this all the time, crazy... All lies, lies, lies! I've witnessed the injustice first hand too many times ... I have evidence, but I exhibit MG symptoms, shake and can't speak normally under this stress so I never win. I don't have the strength, I don't want to deal with this again, I can't - my legs start to give in....

Part of the lens had started to clear and I tried to focus, she finishes the false 911 call, gets up to go into 1F and looks directly at my surveillance camera, in approval of the damage she's done. She has her 12yr old son invloved, he checks out the damage too. That's typical, she has him up all night in the middle of drug parties and violent fights, why wouldn't she teach her son to enjoy damaging someone else's property? These people are not normal. I live in Hell and I am now a Myasthenic mess.

I am so shaken up! I don't know what to do; I can't call the police. First of all, Government agencies, some news reporters and any other agency I could get the information to has the report or tapes of the February 16 nightmare ordeal - I am sure I do not have any friends at the 49th. Second, she knows I'm weak, she knows how to use the system and manipulate the police; she'll just turn the story around as always, the cops won't look at my evidence, and might once again believe that one single female might mess with those type of people below me, or worse the cops may again mistake my fear or disability, weakness, shakiness ... and believe these people when they tell them that I bother her mother and I am the "crazy" one. I am just as afraid of the police as I am of these people in 1F.

I call the landlord's office downstairs, explain they they just destroyed my property and are calling the cops on me. I haven't left the apartment since I was escorted around and to the doctor on Wednesday, I had only opened my door for my Dad and a friend, both on Friday afternoon, and again today for a second while she was destroying my surveillance camera. I ask the landlord's worker to speak to the cops - let them see the landlords surveillance of her destroying my camera and to prove I have not left this apartment in 3 days or !!!

The cops came pretty quickly and she outright lied as always. He listens and converses with her for about ten minutes. I can't hear much, again the volume would have to be raised. I can only hear, crazy, outta here last weekend, my mother, so we call a cop, all the time, landlord ....
How could these cops possibly believe that story...that I harass these people? Especially now, my legs can barely hold me. The officers do not come upstairs to talk to me at all and I do not hear the landlord's worker speaking to them. Why didn't the officers ring my bell and ask me what happened? I wonder if the cops took another false complaint from her.
For the video/audio of her false complaints/conversation with the responding officers see www.putfile.com/nightmareonbronxdale

My myasthenic body can not handle all of this. By this time, I am so scared, upset, shaky, weak, my vision blurred, I am now not feeling good at all; I need to rest.

An hour or more went by when I heard the door downstairs, and started another tape, recording the security camera view. A person whom I believe to be the woman's sister enters the building in a black coat & hat, while the 1F woman, watches she walks right past the security camera and spray paints it black!! (picture 4 )The woman said, "That's it...." and I heard the door close.

I was shaking all over and uncontrollably again. I am scared; wondering what else they will do to me; knowing I have no one to call for help; and because I am not feeling well AT ALL. I was also panicking, "If they are ruining my camera, what kind of party are they having tonight?" I am trapped up here, that camera was my only sense of security .... terror set in. My neighbors must have felt the same way. I called them petrified with the news and they left the building. I wished I could.

I called back downstairs to the landlord's worker and explain what happened this time, also told him they must have also spray painted the landlord's railing. I asked the worker if he spoke to the cops earlier. He said he spoke to the landlord and he doesn't want any of his workers getting involved, he is getting in trouble with this and he has a lot to lose! I explained that we are talking about my life!! I think that's a lot more important; I am scared to death and I have to get out of here. He explains that's his boss....I have to understand.
[I can not believe the landlord, "He doesn't want to get involved!" He is involved!!! This is his building, and he allows this to go on!!!!!!! He involved me by renting to me knowing these people were Hell, he had even lost other tenants because of their behavior. He involved me by telling me to call the cops if I had a problem. I didn't want to be involved or ask to be involved in the nightmares I have experienced since living here. What does he mean, HE has a lot to lose?!! What about me? I don't want to die! I don't want to be threatened, harassed or scared either. I don't want to be sick with MG like this, or to get worse. I don't want to be trapped up here while they party down there. I don't want to live in this Hell he involved me in anymore!! I have to move out of this apartment asap, but I don't even have the strength to move around it right now.]

My surveillance screen was just black, the audio crackling loudly. I had no idea what was going on down there now, I wouldn't know if anyone was headed upstairs. It was a sickening feeling, I had been terrorized by 1F on so many occassions. I rest a bit and I gathered up strength and got up the nerve to sneak out of my door. I photographed my spray painted camera and cleaned a bit of the lens off with goo gone. The landlord's railing now has some black spray paint on it. The lens will never be the same and the microphone/audio on my camera is still damaged, it crackles.
A friend calls, I am still shaking and very weak, she comes over to stay with me.

The woman from 1F must have heard her arrive, she came out of 1F, looked at my camera and said, "Yeah." Someone else spoke, she went back inside the apartment, then outside, looked right at my camera again and said, "Yeah, it's still black."

I feel a little bit better at least I'm not alone this night.
see www.putfile.com/nightmareonbronxdale for more videos/audio

This is a poor quality video - taped off of tv screen.... audio added after. Better quality video will be downloaded soon.
1st video is parts taped from my surveillance video, it includes the plot, the act, the false 911 call, the police arriving/lies, cut to later - spray painting my camera.

2nd video - I opened my door videocamera in hand for approx 5 sec. as she sprayed it, she is the only one on the steps and dares me to call a cop. Match this picture/audio (clearly showing she is the only one on the steps), to the audio from my surveillance camera,

MG & Stress - Still in the Halls

2008-03-03T13:50:00.000-08:00

Comparatively speaking - This was a mellow night (see "Threats" etc. for the wild drug parties) - these people whom do not even live here and whom have threatened my life are still allowed to hang out in the hallways here all of the time.

2/29/08 I may have found an apartment through a friend. I am excited. If I can just get away from this hell, I am sure I will be able to get back into remission.

Around 10p.m. or the blaring music goes on downstairs, once again I hear their music over every sound up here. My heart beats fast, I can only pray it is not going to be another "usual" party where they do drugs, drink, block the hall and exit, pee on my door and threaten my life. At least, I am now able to see who is on the steps in the hallway (my surveillance camera). I wish the landlord would tell these people they shouldn't be using the hallway, this is not a nightclub, it is a building where other people have to live!!!

In and out, in and out of 1F. Smoking and drinking in the hallway, on the steps, throwing lit cigarettes down in the halls as they all usually do. The father actually let the five year old out of the apartment tonight too!! They were on the sidewalk making a snowman, at 2 a.m.!

Even just one of those people in the hall/blocking my exit scares me, I never know when taunting me will become part of their amusement.

I didn't smell the drugs tonight, but they were probably high as usual; a small straw was still at the bottom of the stairs a few days later. Their music was soo loud - in my apartment!! How can the old lady down there take it???? Around 2:30a.m. or so the music stopped ... But it didn't end. The kids mother, appeared in the hallway and they started arguing. It wasn't one of their major or violent fights, but there they were, the people who harass and threaten me, in the hallway, blocking the only exit. There goes my heart racing again. The music went on again. I can't... the music, the vibration, my glasses jingling, the arguing downstairs. I don't know how I got to sleep. My body became so weak, I think I passed out.

MG & Stress - Still Hell

2008-03-02T17:06:00.000-08:00

I am doing worse than I ever have with the Myasthenia Gravis. I am experiencing symptoms I hadn't at my worst before. I know I have to get out, but I am too weak and don't know how, so I still live in prison, in fear here....

Of course, the usual all night noise continues, banging kid, yelling grandmother, music; the smoking in hallway .... and all continues. Though, now I'm just too tired, anything they do that is not a direct threat, seems too trivial to write about now. It's ALL still horrible, just not hellish enough for me to expend what little energy I have writing about. It seems pointless anyway, I have all of this evidence and still no help. Right now, I just want to regain my health.

2/18/08 Yikes, my neighbors and I were sitting in my apartment and all of a sudden we could hear them screaming outside, "I'm going to jail. I'm gonna fu--somebody up." There goes my heart. I thought they were talking about me for a minute. It wasn't about me, but for 25 minutes we had to hear that she was going to jail and it wasn't gonna end, and every curse and worse. It didn't matter who they were talking about; I was shaking, I can't take this. This was happening right outside the building, right outside their mother/grandma's window and we can clearly hear it upstairs. How can the old lady take it? Those were her daughters proudly yelling they were going to jail, and gonna f--- someone up...cursing in English and Spanish like that! The same daughters that lie to the police saying I harass their mother and she has a bad heart, etc. etc.

They lie and say I call the police for no reason (see "the Threats")- tonight they actually called for no reason, it seems she had left her purse outside, thought her purse was stolen, then she found the purse but was missing the wallet or something like that, but they left her $10. Huh?!? What thief leaves money behind? I was scared to death and panicked by their violent screaming, but I might have chuckled. They were quick to accuse the "N----" in the house next door, they wanted the cops to search that house! These people are not normal, it's scary.
-----------------------------------

Every time they yell anything or do anything it makes me worse, stress definitely exacerbates my condition.

I rest as much as possible these days. I feel the MG weakness is worsening. The side effects of the medicine are horrible. I am also doing the herbal thing.

My neighbors helped me hook up a security camera just last week. It is set just so I can see a bit of the hall downstairs and the first two steps to the upstairs apartments. I am only able to see feet at 1F's door ... unless they go where they always do and shouldn't be...beyond their door, in the halls, blocking the exit, or on the steps to the upstairs apartments. This makes me feel a tiny, tiny bit more secure. I am still trapped, but at least I can see if anyone is coming upstairs.

MG & Stress - The Landlord

2008-03-02T17:05:00.001-08:00

On the way to the precinct last week, the landlord had made an appointment to meet me Thursday afternoon and allow me to see his surveillance tapes of the parties. I hadn’t heard from him but rushed back to make our meeting, only to find he wasn’t in. His workers (I found out later were not telling the truth) told me they did not know how to use the surveillance software, “…Only Danny can.“ He didn’t answer the phone or return my call, and they supposedly couldn‘t get in touch with him. He has never respected my time, why I still thought he would respect my life I do not know.

Finally, he called me back a few days after the horrific 16th ordeal: He had the flu and was angry that I “bothered” him with cell phone messages so many times the week before (re: my life being threatened, wild parties, fixing the door, evicting 1F, etc.), he was angry because, “I have cops calling my cell phone, my home, my business, I never spoke to so many cops in my life,” (like I wanted to and had planned this!) Again I stated that he had to get them (1F) out of here or me out of here, “This is making me sick…” “Believe me, I am looking for a place for you to move…,” he said. He also said that I am "trying to control the situation." Thinking, “What part of they threaten my life, are allowed to have drug parties and damage the halls, and have now completely destroyed my Quality of Life and that of the tenants in 2R, and are making me sick, doesn‘t he understand?” I said, “You let this get completely out of control.” Again, I told him about the Housing Maintenance Code Law (Sec. D26-10.09) which states that grounds for eviction include, “results from repeated or continued conduct which causes damage to the dwelling unit or substantially interferes with the comfort or safety of another person“; I reminded him that he had evidence of them damaging his property on his surveillance and I had evidence of the threats and harassment. I told him what I was informed at the precinct, that he could file a complaint for the damage they do and it would be a misdemeanor, Criminal Mischief…that would help him in court. That he could use that evidence and HE might be able to file for a restraining order against the people who are not supposed to live or be here. He just said, he is evicting them and it's a long process, I went on about how he could possibly expedite it...“They are in court tomorrow - do you want to go?” he yelled. I jumped at that opportunity, "Yes." (I was ready and waiting, he never came to get me as promised, he never used any evidence, he left it at strictly a holdover proceeding, they could pay and stay!!).

(This conversation would be the last with my landlord. He stopped answering or returning my calls.) During that call he did promise, “Anything I can do to help, I will.“ I again asked him to at least fix the locks on the doors downstairs, intercom, to put up no smoking and loitering signs in the halls and enforce them, to do anything geared towards our safety and to deter these tenants from hanging in the hallways. Nothing was/is done. Though, he did finally allow my neighbor from 2R and I to view his surveillance tapes.

My neighbor in 2R and I went down to watch the landlord’s surveillance but his workers didn't know how to download it, or so they said. I videotaped some of it off of his computer screen with my videocamera. We noted the police officers who told us they were locked out during the Feb.9-10th party were not locked out every time they responded to our calls, they had started to come upstairs and chose not to come up and rescue us. We were always trapped upstairs behind doors and had only been able to hear the 1F parties, maybe catching a tiny glimpse through a peephole. This was the first time we were actually seeing it all, and it was pretty much as horrible as we had imagined: These people drink, do drugs, wrestle, dance, hang out and run all over the halls, downstairs by the landlord’s offices, upstairs to my door... One of the landlord’s employees caught the action on the screen and stopped working for a second to watch, “What the hell is going on?“ she said. We explained that this is what happens in the halls here all the time while we are trapped upstairs. Once again, my neighbor and I comment - how ... why, does the landlord let this go on? He had promised us they were being evicted and the building would be fixed up.

I have since (left messages) begged the landlord to see those tapes again. I had went on his security software’s website and learned how to download - I needed those tapes on a DVD as evidence. CCRB, IA and all had already called the landlord and told him they needed the tape of Feb. 16. Now, I also needed February 16 as well as, February 9-10. He had promised he would do anything to help and now he won’t return my calls; his workers say they can’t do anything / show me the tapes without his permission. I don’t understand. I pay my rent early every month, I spent over $500 redoing his kitchen and more fixing up the place to make it my home, I had bought extra products and used them to clean his halls, made my own repairs - It was pretty obvious I cared about where I lived. My neighbor feels the same way. Why isn’t he helping us, why is he protecting THOSE people? Why doesn't he care about his own building?

I am now not only weak with MG; I am a bit angry.

MG & Stress - The Ultimate Nightmare!!!

2008-03-02T15:54:00.000-08:00

My story gets worse...much, much, much, much worse!
I don't know how I lived through what I know is any disabled persons ultimate nightmare ...
you'll have to wait to see it on the news, but I will say this....

I am terrified; not only of the tenants in 1F, of my disease and living with it's symptoms but of those whom we call upon to serve and protect.

It absolutely terrifies me to live in a world where I may fall, shake, be extremely weak, unable to speak, swallow, have double vision, or worse ... all because of my disease, Myasthenia Gravis and though I explain it, my symptoms may be perceived as "crazy" or "drunk" and I may be denied care. Anyone with a rare disability could die as a result of such ignorance!

That devastating reality set in when; I had to repeat the name of my disease, Myasthenia Gravis (MG) at least 18 times to the 911 operator; even more so while, I was being kicked and handcuffed because I was unable to get up at the officers request; as I clearly repeat to the officers and EMT/S workers the name of my disease at least 55 times AND call it MG at least 35 times; as I am repeatedly told to, “Be quiet.” and,“Ssshhh” as I desperately try to explain my serious disease and symptoms; and while I begged for the officers to get my medical id card out of my bag; for an ambulance … for somebody to understand my disease and what was happening to me!
The back of my medical alert card reads:
I have myasthenia gravis, a disease that can make me so weak that I may have difficulty standing or speaking clearly. In addition, I may have drooping eyelids, double vision, and even difficulty breathing. Sometimes these symptoms are mistaken for intoxication. If I appear to need help please contact my physician or hospital immediately. [& contact info]
The other card lists numerous drugs Myasthenics can not be administered.

The most frightening part- six officers and four EMT/S workers not only had never heard of my NY State recognized disability, abused me and ridiculed my disease; they actually denied me and prevented me from getting proper treatment for Myasthenia Gravis, because of their ignorance! (The hospital was just as frightening......)

Though I was begging for help, officers believed those people in 1F. They said I was crazy and I'm always bothering the grandmother and drunk...the officers refused to listen to my pleas for help, or evidence of harassment and the complaint numbers I gave them; they made a judgement that might have cost my life.

I am very weak now, can barely walk, simple tasks like washing my hair or a dish are difficult. I experience double vision, if I rest one eye the other goes, if I look straight ahead too long, I can't stay in focus. I actually shake from the weakness. By the end of the day, I am slurring. I am afraid to eat much, chewing is a task, swallowing is sometimes worse. I have to rest often.

I still live in Hell, trying desperately to get out of here! I really don't have the money to move, I just moved here and put money into the place! I am too weak to possibly pack all of my items. I have to go to doctors now, most are around here. I am afraid to leave this place alone still and to drive much in this condition. This place is still extremely stressful, the people in 1f still harass me (see next post). I am trapped up here, not well, terrified, and I can't call the police, I can't call an ambulance... My landlord will speak to me once more after this (see next post) , he now forwards my calls to his attorney.

MG & Stress - Somebody Help - Listen

2008-03-02T15:08:00.000-08:00

I didn't feel good at all, I had many MG symptoms. I was afraid of that too, this is a life-threatening disease. They just threatened me again last night. The weekend was coming, I was afraid. I live in a prison, fearful of my life and the cops DO NOTHING. I can't live the way I've been living anymore. Something had to be done before the weekend, I will never survive another party like that. Determined to get help I gathered my evidence and tried everything I could think of....

I called the precinct regarding my complaints of harassment. I was told that a Detective C. had my case and he was in on Friday.

2/14/08 - I played tape of recent threats for three persons at the Morris Park Association. I explained my disease and how this is making me sick, I am living in fear/prisoner…. they made appointment at precinct with the sergeant for me.

I went back to the precinct and they wouldn’t let me see the sergeant, I was told to make another complaint and to seek and order of protection. I made desk officer (female, blond short hair, bangs) and another officer (female, light brown hair pulled back, young) completely aware about the harassment I have been enduring, about my disease, Myasthenia Gravis and how this situation has been exacerbating my condition and that I am scared and needed help. I must seem freakish to anyone who doesn't know about MG. I was shaking uncontrollably from weakness, my eye goes lazy, my speech slurred. They suggested I make another complaint about the threat last night and seek and order of protection. I also mention my problems to any other officer who would listen! The civilian/Officer taking my complaint refused to listen to tape of them saying I need a whipping as a result I may have taped over a portion of the threat. Complaint #1042.

At that time I also saw the officers who had been in my building for the threats and party the previous weekend. I played the harassment tape and their horrible fight tape for Officer Rodriguez and another officer at a desk in the room where I was making the complaint. He said he was just handing in the report, blah blah blah. (see previous post)

2/15 /08 - My neighbor came with me to 161st Street to seek and order of protection. I was a shaky weak mess. I was told I can not get an order of protection without an arrest. I could pick a day for mediation, however I can not submit evidence and it’s voluntary. That won't work. They won't show up or will lie and without evidence I won't win.

We went back to 49th precinct to inquire as to why I was given the wrong information regarding getting an Order of Protection, an arrest has to be made.... The desk officer (female blond short hair bangs)told me that was wrong and she would see if there was anyone I could speak to. I also told the desk officer, that I really needed help with this, I was living in fear, it was making exacerbating my myasthenia gravis, etc.

My neighbor and I were able to speak to Crime Prevention Officer D. I was a MG mess so I gave him a pamphlet regarding the seriousness of my disease. I needed him to understand why I was slurring my words and shaky. I explained how the harassing situation I live in is exacerbating my condition. He listened to tapes of harassment and to tapes of the tenants own violent fights in #1F, he clearly heard the threats, and my neighbor pointed out the grandmother's voice in the background, he heard Ozzie state he peed on my door, then dare me to call the cops. I explain how they tell the cops that I call to harass them, that I bother the grandmother, I deserve for them to pee on my door and these cops believe that little me would mess with 6 ghetto people who live right by my only way out of the building. My neighbor also chimes in that they have called the cops and they don't do anything. He listened to the tape of 1F yelling, "Police" and it getting quiet. I also gave him a copy of a list of problems I've had here since October, and other paperwork regarding the harassment situation, and asked him to look into why an officer would hand a report of threats in 5 days after the occurrence. He said he would to speak to my landlord about trespassing /loitering signs which can be put up and the lock on the door. He gave us both his number.

We got back to the building and sat in my apartment for a bit. The lock that only works from the inside is still there. I was panicked, these people still have the ability to lock us in and the cops out. I called the landlord and left a message. I called his workers downstairs who said they can't do anything without the landord's permission. My neighbor called he was told the same thing. My landlord insists that it can't lock, there is tape holding the latch. A friend of mine had tried it. If you push the button in to lock it, it opens with a turn of the handle from inside, but he was able to lock himself out. The lock works, the intercom doesn't, why won't he fix it? Doesn't he care at all? I suggested that he take the whole knob off. I was told that is a Housing Violation he couldn't do that. I am pretty sure a non-working intercom system, tape holding doors open which tenants don't have keys to, and a wooden front door are violations, I don't understand.

Detective Chico called me as promised. I explained the harassment, the threats, the parties...everything to him, including my disease and how this is making me worse. He explained that Detectives are only involved if the complaints were aggravated harassment. i.e. If the threats were made over the phone. I told him I had him on tape. That didn't count.

The music started loud and I thought, "Oh God." I called Officer D. He said he could hear the music but faintly over the phone as I asked him to please call my landlord about the lock. My surveillance camera had finally arrived so we hooked it up and I mentioned it to Officer D.

I WAS SURE THE MYASTHENIC SYMPTOMS WERE EFFECTING PEOPLE'S REACTION TO ME. SO EACH TIME I FILED A COMPLAINT OR SPOKE TO ANYONE AT THE 49TH PRECINCT I MENTION MY DISABILITY AND EXPLAINED THE HARASSMENT I ENDURE SINCE MOVING HERE AND HOW IT EXACERBATING MY CONDITION! I ALSO EXPLAINED WHAT MY CONDITION IS AND HOW I AM AFFECTED. I ALSO INQUIRE AS TO WHAT I CAN DO TO PROTECT MYSELF FROM THE PEOPLE IN 1F.

MG & Stress - Hell continues....

2008-03-02T14:39:00.000-08:00

I was panicked. Not only with fear, my life was threatened and I am trapped up here with them down there, but I was sick again. I was now experiencing double vision, would have to rest my voice often, I was shaky with weakness. Damn! I had been well for so long. This place, these people, the stress had exacerbated my condition. I needed help! These people had to go, they are going to kill me one way or another.

The kid and grandmother were still up all night, and they also continued torturing me all night with the music again, loud for a few minutes, then off, then on again, off again, all night long. This is HELL!!

I left a message and asked my landlord to get them out or move me. After all, he let a single female rent an apartment over people who he knew he had problems with, and that he lost other tenants because of: He is the one who told me to call the cops on their crazy parties and that is what infurated those people. I begged him to let me look at the security tapes of that party so I could gather more evidence. I told him to use that evidence in court, use the letters I gave him, use the Housing Maintenance law, a judge may expidite the eviction process, if they know other tenants are in danger because of them. I left a few messages. I begged him to fix the lock downstairs so they can't lock the cops out, to put another lock on my door, fix the intercom system, etc. He's responsible for the security of his tenants. This was about protecting my life.... He didn't call me back at all that week.

I was still afraid to leave my apartment alone. If I wanted to go anywhere I had to call someone to watch me leave, downstairs for one of the workers my neighbor or a friend. When I am inside I have the fear that they will start something; I am alone and there is no way out of this building, and the cops DO NOTHING! This is no way to live.

Wednesday night, I heard someone in the hallway and got out the recorder. A woman was talking to Ozzie in the hallway. I heard her say, "Bitch upstairs home yet?".... She went on, "I can't believe you told the cop you banged on her door." He replied, "Yeah I told him if she keeps bothering my grandma, I'm gonna do something about it." She replied, "She need a whipping that's what she need. ....crazy bitch." Yikes, they all want to kill me.

I got out the next day and went back to the precinct.

MG & Stress - Reporting the Threats

2008-03-02T14:29:00.001-08:00

Later that Sunday Feb. 10, I had called my landlord and left him a message about the party what they did the threats, etc. I was scared and a bit angry that he allows this to happen. I told him, he put me here, he's the one who told me to call the cops, and he is reponsible for the safety of his tenants. I told him he should use the security tape of that wild party to help speed up the eviction process. I am sick, this is making me sicker, that I was afraid to ever leave the buildling alone.... He called me back and agreed to escort me to the precinct. He wouldn't listen to the tapes of the threats in the car. He just said, "I know. I know these people are horrible." We got to the precinct and he explained to the desk officer or sergeant what these people did and that they are now threatening tenants, he lost his other tenants, they know their way around the system and he is evicting them... The officer tells my landlord to go to housing court and that I could help him with the process. I stayed in the precinct and made my complaint. I had the tape, but no one would listen. I also explain I am sick I have myasthenia Gravis and I am shaky weak and can barely speak. I was a myasthenic mess at this point, afraid to eat, swallowing was hard, I wasn't sure when my legs would give out. The report was complaint #979. I asked at the desk if my landlord had tapes of these people destroying his property, isn't that criminal? He said that it would be criminal mischief and yes he could. I called the landlord to pick me up from the precinct and told him he could make a report and it would help him in the eviction. he sent someone else to pick me up. I don't believe he ever made that report.

I spent the rest of the week being escorted in and out of the building, trying to get help regarding the harassment.

MG & Stress - Their Nasty Fight

2008-03-02T13:52:00.000-08:00

We thought the night of February 9 / morning of February 10 was over...it wasn't.
It was about 4:15a.m. or so now. The cops had left, and there was a moment of peace. Just a moment though. They had went into their apartment and began banging a bat or something hard on their ceiling, my floor. About ten minutes of this, then they banged intermittently for the next 15 or so. I knew if I called the cops again, they would deny it and say I was just calling to bother the grandmother. I was exhausted, but also so scared I was afraid to go to sleep.

I was laying on my couch trying to get calm and rest, waiting for the next round of banging, when I heard banging ... but downstairs, in their apartment. Bangs, breaking glass, screaming, "Get the hell out, get the hell out my house ..." Oh my God, now they are going to kill each other. I call my neighbor they can hear it. I wonder if I should call the cops back, I told him what those people told the cops, that I bother the grandma and I call for no reason!!! I apologized to them for putting them in this situation. And we go on for a minute about, do you believe this? We hung up and the fight continued, she was screaming at the top of her lungs about his "nasty d---" and he's a "pedophile, I hate you get out".....and much worse. The drunken twelve year old and Ozzie are in the background yelling something, the grandma is chiming in, they are breaking things, she's now yelling, "Back the f--- up, back the f----up. ... Say goodbye to daddy because he's a dead ni----, he's a dead n-----r."

OH my God!!! The crashing, screaming...the little kid is down there, what do I do? My heart was racing, I was still shaking uncontrollably from before..what a nightmare!!! I was scared they would start shooting or something, it was a nasty fight. How can grandma take it, no less be involved? I try to wait it out, I am shaking and can barely walk, these people are going to give me a heart attack or send me into MG crisis. I think 9 minutes went by before I finally called 911. You can clearly hear them screaming at each other, throwing things, etc. in the background of my 911 call. I am not feeling well at all at this point, I was a weakened mess. I found a quiet corner and finished my call...

During this 911 call I also explain somewhat about my disability and I'm shaky, weak .... my voice is so tired, I am not sure if I was slurring. The operator asked me if I needed an ambulance. (I couldn't think, that may have been the safest place for me at this point, but my disease is auto-immune, I fear hospitals....sick people, high rates of staff and other infection.) I hadn't fallen yet, I replied, "No."

The same officers responded, it stopped a minute before I heard them inside. You would think if an officer hears domestic violence fight on the call and know there is a five and 12 year old child inside they would check on the children, no!!!! I could hear her telling them that I called 911 to harass them, everything is fine, I do that to bother them. Huh?!! Here we go again, glad I had gotten the videocamera running again and got most of the fights audio on tape at least I had evidence .... it wouldn't matter though .....

MG & Stress - Cops & No Help!

2008-03-02T12:48:00.000-08:00

You can hear the grandma yelling in the background. I don't know how grandma's heart was taking it, because my heart was racing.

I was shaking, I could barely talk. The stress was bringing on MG symptoms, I couldn't focus well either. We debated for a minute who should call the cops as they were threatening me. I picked up my cell phone and made the call. You can clearly hear them threatening me in the background of my call. As I tell the operator what is going on, I was getting weaker, I could feel it and let out a nervous laugh. I just needed to sleep and I would be stronger, but this wasn't going to end for a long time now...

The cops finally arrive and knock on my neighbors apartment door. Ozzie had come out of his door and was standing at the bottom of the steps watchign as I opened her door. I hadn't wanted them associated with this, they still had the ability of coming and going without being harassed. I don't know whay the officer didn't tell him to go inside. I believe my neighbor told the officer that the party has been going on all night and we called a lot of times and then they were threatening me because we called the cops. They said they knew!! They had been here earlier and could hear the music and had seen them scattering from the hallway but they had been locked out (they may have been locked out oneof the times we called but we later saw them on my landlord's security camera enter the building earlier, start to walk upstairs then stop, they were inside and chose not to deal with it or help us!!!). I told them I tape recorded them threatening me and that he came up to my door....They refused to hear the tape and asked me if I wanted to make a report...do I have my license? Ozzie watched as I paraded them to my apartment where I gave them my license and proceeded to make out a report. I explained first my disease and that I was shaky and could barely speak, that this has been going on for a while, my landlord said is is evicting them, there are always kids involved, they have these wild parties....threaten me. I'm afraid for my life, we're trapped up here. One of the officers agreed that they seemed a little wild, that they did hear the music and see them scatter from the hall, they admitted smelling the drugs. Finally, maybe something will be done. They give me a number to call to get my report and leave. I stay in my apartment and lock the door.

In my living room, I could hear Ozzie and the kid's mother talking to the officers outside. One officer asked how old the child was? She replied, "12 That's my son, he's with me." THe officer replied, "No the little one I saw in there." She said five and he told her he shouldn't be up and around all this now. She went on that I was crazy, calling the cops all of the time for no reason. They have a party once in a while....Ozzie didn't go upstairs. The officer interupted her and said tht Ozzie admitted going upstairs. Ozzie chimed in, "That's right. I told him if she keeps bothering my grandmother I'm going to do something about it." I was so frightend by the experience, I thought " Oh God, they are setting up the cops with an excuse to kill me." They went on and on - I heard the officers telling them they had to file a harassment complaint and that they had talked to me and I was following through with my complaint, blah blah blah. These officers couldn't possibly believe their story?! I called the precinct the next day, no report. they told me it may take a while to get in the system. I call the next day, no report.

[I ran into the officer at the precinct that Thursday I played him the tape, he listened. I told him outright, "These people played you twice that night" [see the next post] I explained that I was sick with MG, I couldn't take the stress I could barely talk now, I was shaky with weakness. The officer, said he was just filing it, it was too late I had already filed a report #979, no duplicates. (supposedly a scratch copy of their report is attached to mine) I asked, "What part of he was threatening my life makes you wait almost five days to file the report?" ]

MG & Stress - The Threats

2008-03-02T12:45:00.000-08:00

***Warning R-rated graphic language....

Threats began some time prior to this recording ... and continued for what felt like forever.
Threats at this time included, “I’m gonna kill you now bitch, come down bitch, I’m gonna fuck you up….crazy white bitch, trailer trash”

Partial TRANSCRIPTION

This was heard as from the living room of the 2nd floor back apartment!!

OZZY: (continuing, taunting, singing) …..And your man, ‘cause he’s smilin'al the time…and he’s a white mother fucker… ? ?yeah I’m fuckin’ with you? ….. The landlord's cameras can’t see me, and I’m sitting here …..
……
Come down and play, come down and play , (yelling LOUD) come`on, (taunting voice) come down one time please, come down one time And you are going to say Hello to my little friend, you already met my little friend, I peed on your door (all laughing) okay so ?????
(inaudible... someone else chimes in)
….your fucking trailer park okay, you smell like a piece of shit and you look like a cockroach…
OTHER MAN: A (hard to hear) horse ?…
OZZY: No, a cockroach, no you look like a ?Hotta? You know what a Hotta? Is? a ??pig looks like shit?, okay. …?? Okay…

WOMAN CARERRO: Trailer park bitch, Come downstairs ? Puerto Rican flavors biaa-, bi-aaatch.
OZZY: Yo bitch come down … one time ‘ cause this the first time I hit a girl and I would go to jail for it I’d love it, one week … (other people chiming in) I don’t give a fuck …
…SOMEONE ELSE CHIMES IN, inaudible…
OZZY:… they could give me a month I’d love fucking you up

Old lady (grandma) yelling

Ozzy and others are still threatening me in background -while I call 911 trapped upstairs, these people are on the steps and in the hallway, blocking the only exit (there is not even a fire escape)

MG & Stress - Kidnapped & Harassed

2008-03-02T12:23:00.000-08:00

February 9, 2008 - February 10, 2008
The base filled loud music begins around 10p.m., I could hear them yelling/talking in the hallway, banging, could smell the drugs. Oh boy, I could tell this was going to be a doozy, they were already loud and this was early for them. I was scared, alone and trapped upstairs again. I can't let this go on all night long again. I call in a noise complaint sometime after it started. The cops must have come because the music stopped for about fifteen minutes. Their conversations and all were just as loud. I was on the phone with a friend of mine and he could hear them. My neighbors called me, they could hear it in the upstairs back apartment and were panicked as well. Another noise complaint. Again, quiet for a few minutes, then the party starts all over again.

There is one way for us to get out of the building and these people were blocking it!! I could hear the 12yr. old was drunk; they were all drunk and loud, the 5 yr old kid was banging, quoting scarface and grandma was yelling in Spanish in the background. The music was getting louder, the conversation raunchier. My neighbors and I opened our doors to peak out at the same time, and she was unlucky enough to get a glimpse of the kid's father pulling down his pants. She quickly went back in and so did I. We could smell the drugs.

I decided to call 911. I was scared to death of the consequences, but the police were our only hope of putting an end to this, and to regaining free access to the exit. I may have called anonymously. I am pretty sure my first complaint referred to the underage drinking and drug use. I watched by the window and finally saw a police van on the other side of the street, assuming it was here for my call, I went near my door awaiting their arrival in the building. I waited and waited, where were they? It got quite for a little while, but I hadn't heard the cops come in. A few minutes later the party started again. What a nightmare!!!

It was about 1a.m. now and my neighbors invited me to come to their apartment where we could all be together until it was over. They called the non-emergency number for the 49th precinct twice this night. It was now around 2:30a.m. and the party was getting uglier. We didn't hear the cops come in, but we heard the people dowsntairs yell "Police" and it got quiet for a few minutes. Then I heard one of them running up the stairs. I grabbed my videocamera and tried to get a shot out of the peephole. The guy, Ozzie was at my door, he banged it and I couldn't tell what else, but when he ran back down he said, "That's how we do it, now call the cops, now call the cops." They all went into apartment 1F and shut the door for the first time all night; it was still loud. I was shaking and afraid, that same guy who threatened my life a few weeks ago actually had the balls to come up the stairs and to my door and dared me to call the cops. He would later yell up to me that he peed on my door and doormat!
It was about 3a.m. now.
Believe it or not this nightmare night had just begun....
We were kidnapped in a sense, trapped inside an upstairs apartment with one little lock. The people downstairs were blocking the exit; they could lock that front door from the inside and lock the cops out. They always enjoyed taunting us, especially me, I was alone and easier to harass.

It was another terrifying night, in this surreal personal horror story. I was so shaken, I still find it difficult to remember the exact course of events which lead to the threats. My neighbor may have called in the noise complaint then, or that might have been one of the non-emergency calls to the precinct to complain about the party and noise heard in the back upstairs apartment!
Whatever happened, the cops must have been here again...the people from 1F began yelling upstairs from the hallway below and the steps, "What are ya gonna do now bitch? Cops can't get in, landlord can't help you...What are ya gonna do now bitch?"
I thought, "Oh my God! What can I do? I'm trapped up here and they have already threatened to kill me. I'm gonna die tonight." We all got very quiet. I'm not sure how my neighbors felt, but I hadn't felt this fearful, when I was told I have a potentially life-threatening disease, when I was younger and held up with a knife to my throat...EVER! I was absolutely terrified. They were going on with the threats, I felt weak and shaky, my heart was racing. I couldn't get my camera going quick enough, but what I recorded still makes me shake.....(see next post)

for more video of them yelling, "Police!" and more see www.putfile.com/nightmareonbronxdale

MG & Stress - Terorrized at Home

2008-03-02T10:29:00.000-08:00

I use the word home loosely because this apartment is hell, not home. It is now my personal prison. I am so frightened of these people, and I feel trapped above them! The harassment, the threats, the noise, the music, and the parties all of the time were ruining my life, destroying my health. Those people could be in the hallway, on the steps just smoking and on the phone, or standing outside the building, but I would hear those violent conversations, "Bitch....f---her up," and shake. I find myself weak and tired, not getting up or out often. Not going anywhere without an escort or at least my videocamera in case I was threatened again, or worse. My neighbors in 2R and I are in disbelief that the landlord lets this go on, that the cops do nothing. These people had destroyed our Quality of Life and had to go!

At this point, I was begging my landlord for the security software so I could know if the hallways were, "safe". First he forgot it, then his workers didn't know how to install it...Now it's a scratched/broken CD. I have since found they all have access to it and the software is down- loadable off of a website. He would only have to give me a password to see it. He is still evicting them blah blah blah.

I had thought, if I had proof someone would have to do something about these people in 1F!! I decided to gather evidence of the harassment - and started leaving my camera on my floor recording the banging, the yelling, the music, the conversations, grandma up all night, etc. Though the music and all was now louder than ever and pretty constant, I called in only a few noise complaints, friends that were visiting couldn't take it and called in noise complaints. The police would come, it would get quiet for a little while, then the volume would go right back up. These people really knew how to manipulate the system. I tried calling the landlord's worker and the landlord to do something about it...I needed help and protection. I was sick and losing too much strength now.

Between the noise and the fear I couldn't sleep. I did not feel safe AT ALL and I was alone. I only have one lock on my apartment door and my neighbor had recently taken my front door right off the hinges just by opening it with one hand! I asked the landlord to look at and fix the door so it won't fall off the hinges, and for an additional lock but was told he just gave me a new lock when I moved in!? The doors downstairs to get into the building never lock, one has tape around it so it won't lock; we have no keys for any doors, other than the one lock on our doors. The intercom still doesn't work either ... so there is absolutely no sense of security in the building. I had ordered my own security camera off of ebay but it hadn't come yet.

The people below me had made it clear they wanted to kill me, I had tried to spoil their drug party. Now that they knew they could use their grandmother like a pawn if I called the cops, they made a game of harassing and taunting me from the downstairs hall. Or some nights, all night long, they would turn their super loud music on for ten minutes, then off, so I couldn't even call in a legitimate noise complaint. The other nights were still filled with the kid up banging, grandma yelling, etc. If I did get out, when I walked by 1F's door they would bang something loudly against the inside of their door to scare me as I walked by. It did. This is torturous.

As if this all wasn't bad enough, it got worse. The weekend was here and weekends were always a stressful time, we never knew what would go on down there.

MG & Stress - Fear & No Help!

2008-03-02T09:44:00.000-08:00

That night after the cops were here, they had a whopper of a party. The next day they had the music blaring all day and the kid came home so the banging and yelling began again....now I am deathly afraid to walk by these people, they WANT TO KILL ME. The fear and stress was too much I am exhausted and weak, I don't think I got up much at all for the next day or so. I did not want to experience any other Myasthenia Gravis symptoms. I tried to get someone to escort me out of here and over to the precinct where I could make a harassment complaint about the death threat and the officers that did nothing about the kid/mother. I called the precinct, my landlord, told everyone I knew. At least if I was killed they would know who did it!

I explained to my landlord and his worker that my life was threatened, the music and parties are killing me and I can't even call the cops now, they turn the story around and the cops bought it.
His worker suggested that I could call him if there was a problem and he would call the cops. That would have been nice; if he answered his phone or listened to his messages. My landlord had already promised my neighbors in 2R, and now me, that he would install the security camera software on our computers so we could see if anyone or anything was going on in the hallway before we left our apartments. That never happened, just like my ceiling still hadn't been fixed from a leak in November!

I broke out my old video camera. I needed evidence to prove - these people are the ones who threaten and harass ME and they have completely destroyed my Quality of Life.

My landlord called my letters to him regarding these people, "Crazy." "Yes," I told him, "It's crazy that you let this go on and that I have to live like this. I can't live like this." He again said he was evicting them, it's a slow process, blah blah blah.

I finally had the strength to go to the precinct to fill out the report. I tried to be as quiet as possible leaving my apartment. My car was right out front. I got to it and found they were videotaping me. This is insane!

I get to the precinct and explained Saturday mornings events to the desk officer and how scared I am. I wait to make a complaint. Finally, I was telling the civilian precinct worker the story and she said, "You should mind your business. I had people from ACS looking at me because my nosy neighbor thought they heard something." Huh? I replied, "I didn't call ACS and this kid is in the middle of drug parties, he's rarely let out...the point is Ozzie was coming up the stairs saying, "I'm gonna kill that bitch..." At least three times I had to answer, "What did he say exactly?" She was slow to work, and quick to paraphrase. who knows what that report says. Complaint #300.

I also mentioned that 1F called 911 on me and it was a false report, I could prove it. Isn't that illegal? That fell on deaf ears. Weren't they going to do anything about anything?

I headed back to hell and had a friend meet me outside to escort me in the building. I was petrified... the situation got worse.

MG & Stress - New Year, New Hell & A Threat

2008-03-02T08:17:00.000-08:00

The holidays were here and I kept busy with family, friends, selling my collections, buying gifts, etc. The noise from the grandmother and kid was still constant, the parties were still happening, but I love the holiday time of year and I was determined to enjoy them.

The parties and noise was still going on but I didn't call the cops on them and they left me alone.

Just when I thought my hellish experience in this apartment wouldn't get worse - it did!!

They had only owned a radio or a small stereo system before and though they would have it on during their parties, it wasn't that loud. Their x-rated conversations, the banging and wrestling, sort of drowned it out, music wasn't a major factor. For Christmas they received a surround sound DVD player. I think it was New Years eve when I saw the 12yr old taking out the box.
Oh my gosh!!!!

Now during the week, during the day, the night, and at the weekend parties the noise included music blaring into my apartment. I could understand hearing a little music from the apartment below, but I could hear the words of the songs...it was LOUD and on at some point...every day and night! They have the base up very high and the vibration actually makes my glassware jingle, so with every boom boom of their music, I hear jingling. It could be 11a.m., 2p.m., 11p.m, or 4a.m. they were utilizing their new surround sound to their maximum advantage.

I called downstairs to the landlord and complained to his worker who could also hear it blaring below. It would stop until they left for the day, then....

During the parties the super loud music wouldn't drown out their conversations because these people actually spoke louder, over the music, like they were in a nightclub! I could hear everything from any room in my apartment. My neighbors in 2R were also getting really annoyed at this point. The landlord had promised before we moved in that these people were going. We all wondered when. The landlord would just say, "It takes time. Just call the cops when they act up." We knew that was pointless, the cops come and do nothing!

Then came the week prior to January 12, 2008. It was almost quiet. No banging all night, a little music, but nothing major happened that week. I actually wondered what happened. Then I found out. It was early, about 10:30a.m. on a Saturday morning and I was cleaning the hallway right outside my door (we did still clean the upstairs, just didn't bother cleaning up after their parties in the hallways downstairs or on the steps anymore) when I heard someone enter the building and bang on the door of 1F. "...Emergency Child Services. Produce the child and the mother immediately..." I heard Ozzie open the door and exclaim, "He's not here." "Carerro?" the woman asked. I heard the grandmother approach the hall, "Que? Que?" Ozzie went on to tell the ECS woman they were upstate somewhere and he's not supposed to talk to her. They went inside apartment 1F.

The kid was always a topic of conversation in my apartment. For my friends and I it was impossible to ignore the fact that he was up all night banging, yelling, or that he was always at the window on nice days banging on it. We wondered if he went to school. No one saw him outside apartment 1F except for a rare occasion, once we caught him alone in the hallway playing with a paper airplane and dead roaches. Occasionally we would see a toy of his in the hallway for weeks at a time. He was in the middle of the drunken drug parties; exposed to violent fights, language I hadn't heard before moving here. It was sad. It was impossible to ignore, we had all talked about it, but never acted...
I was never a gossiper but find myself talking about the hellish situation I am in and people here often. A friend had called, "I think they are finally going to do something about the kid.....They think the mother lives here with the kid...I wonder who called...." I said.

I was still on the phone and now cleaning the windows when I saw the woman getting in her car. And yes, I opened my mouth, "Are you here for the kid?" She replied up to me, "He's not here, so there is nothing I can do." ... She got in her SUV and drove away.
A couple of seconds later, I heard Ozzie slam open the door of 1F and heading up the stairs screaming, "I'm going to kill that bitch..." yikes ... I immediately asked my friend to come over, "He's coming up here to kill me." I could hear the grandmother yelling at Ozzie and the 5yr old's mother, who Ozzie had just told the woman from ECS wasn't there, trying to calm him down. I was shaking, it got quiet for a second and I asked my friend if I should call the cops. Next thing I knew the cops were here. "Oh good." I thought. I opened my door and I could hear the mother of the kid telling them, "I just ran here because my mother called. That one upstairs was banging on the door bothering my mother. She's always bothering her. My mother has a heart condition....." Huh?! What old lady with a heart condition is up all night, gets drunk, allows her kids and grandkids to have wild drug parties, opens her door to people at all hours, listens to nightclub volume music, participates in x-rated conversations and fights like the ones they have? The officer stood at the bottom of the steps when he said to me, "Don't come down here banging on their door and bothering the old lady." Huh?! I replied, "He just came upstairs and threatened my life. I haven' t left this floor all day, you can look at my landlord's security cameras and you will see it was a lady from ECS banging on their door and you are talking to the mother they were just looking for." "There is no kid here." he replied. Huh?! I look directly at a dirty old toy car which had been in the hallway for weeks now. His gaze followed mine as I exclaimed, "What?! There is definitely a kid here. Ask my neighbors (pointing at 2R), my landlord, anyone who lives around here, look at the security cameras and you will see." "Mind your business and stop bothering the old lady." was his only reply. I said something to the effect of isn't it your business, ECS was just looking for the woman you are talking to, that kid doesn't go to school, he's in the middle of their druggie parties....I don't bother that woman they are up all night, it's all on my landlords security cameras, look at the tapes. Talk to my neighbors.... This cop told me again to, "Mind my business - if I was so worried about the kid I should get the tapes and do something about it." Huh?! I'm worried about me, My life was just threatened!! At this point, my voice was getting weak and I felt my legs going, symptoms of MG. I had to bend down holding onto the railing while he finished with something like, "Don't let me catch you bothering the old lady again." Huh?
How could these two cops think one 120lb single woman would mess with those people? Don't they notice that I have to walk by 1F to leave the building? That these people are ghetto and scare the sh-- out of me? I am in shock, I can not believe what just happened, this guy Ozzie downstairs just ran up and threatened my life, ECS was just here looking for the woman who called a false 911 report about me, and these cops blamed me!

I am frightened, the people in 1F already hated me and made my life here miserable, now they think I called ACS and they know they can manipulate the Police...my life here had just became even more hellish....

MG & Stress - Hell continues....

2008-03-02T06:22:00.000-08:00

It didn't get better. These people were scary. They were either loud and banging, yelling or outside partying all of the time! Now when I would walk by they would make comments like, "That's the new neighbor. Crazy bitch." Then it became racial. I was (and still am) called, "White bitch." "White mother-f---r." and worse. If I went out I was afraid to come home at all, or alone. I was now scared and becoming exhausted from the lack of sleep. I now had to rest often in order to keep my MG symptoms at bay.

Whenever they were around, I could hear the 1F people talking about me outside, "Crazy bitch. She be cleaning the hallways." Huh? What kind of people complain about clean hallways? It was their disgusting leftover party mess I had cleaned up.

I constantly complained to the landlord about the parties. My neighbors in 2R had joined in the complaints. He repeated that they are being kicked out....then he would fix up the building, etc. He told us to call the cops when they party like that, "Just keep calling the cops."

One day, the landlord came upstairs and warned me that I would have no electric for a few hours because he fixing that now. The workers left and forgot to turn my circuit breaker on. They had lights downstairs and I could hear them partying as I panicked in the dark. I called the landlord, his workers....they told me I had to wait for the electricians to come back. I had no electric for 2 days!!

The fear, the noise, the lack of sleep ... all took it's toll. I was feeling weak with the MG, my vision was double at times. I started my herbal regiment again and rested. I didn't leave the apartment until I felt stronger.

The noise all night long from the kid and the grandmother was still constant and loud! When the mother and the rest of them showed up it was still hell!! Whether they were using the hallway and steps to the upstairs apartments as their smoking and phone lounge or having a party; they obviously did not have respect for anyone else in the building, not for their own grandmother or kids, and judging from the conversations, did not respect themselves!!

It was the beginning of November and getting colder outside now. We had hoped the parties would stop. NO!!!! The people from 1F took their outdoor parties into the hallways of the building. They were wild! It was just as loud. They would wrestle, bang, yell, smoke dope and all - INSIDE!! They crowded the hallway, blocked the inside steps and the entrance/exit; partied until the wee hours of the morning. You would see them sitting on the inside steps, passing dope over the kids head while they conversed about sex and who they were going to f---up.

My neighbors in 2F called 911 on one of those parties. They also noted the cops come and don't do anything! The cops would tell 1F they can't be in the hallway, but didn't comment on the drinking, smoking or the 5 and 12yr old in the middle of all of this. As soon as the cops would leave they would be back out in the hallway.

The door to their apartment 1F is a few feet from the vestibule on the left. These people should not be anywhere beyond their door, especially on the steps going to our upstairs apartments! They blocked free access. The rest of the tenants (just the two apartments upstairs) should not have to hear their conversations or smell their drug use. They should not be smoking anything in the hallway inside the building!! The upstairs tenants should be free to walk in and out of the building, and up and down the stairs at will. I couldn't, I was still complaining to the landlord about their parties and noise, and because of that I was still, "The crazy white bitch."

The parties were almost every weekend, sometimes during the week. They left a mess, cigarette butts, half joints, drinks, food. This was insane. I should not have to live like this!! I can't live like this! I want to stay healthy. I rested more to keep my MG symptoms from reoccurring.

Not that they weren't all wild, but one party this month was really out of hand. They were loud violent, rude, the pot smell was making me high upstairs!! And, was that crack I smelt? I wasn't positive, I had never been around crack before, but it wasn't a food smell. I was pretty sure it was crack. Yikes!!!

My neighbors in 2R and I went downstairs to the landlord's office told him about the party. Asked him to look at his security camera tapes, to tell them they can't be in his hallways, and when...when is 1F leaving??!! He called his attorney in front of us and asked him, "When are these people out? My other tenants are standing in front of me and want to kill me!" He told us it would take a while. We all went upstairs and pointed out the remnants of drug use, the cigarette butts, burn marks and the ink graffiti they damaged his railing and wall with. The landlord knocked on 1F. Ozzie answered the door. The landlord told him we all have to live together and they shouldn't be in the hallway. Though we were all standing behind the landlord, Ozzie tried to tell him they weren't ... the landlord pointed out his security cameras. And that was basically it. He told us to call the cops if it happened again. We explained they don't do anything. My neighbors and I spent the rest of the day cleaning up the hallway. I think that was the last time we cleaned it: It was pointless.

And, It got WORSE.......

These people hated me. Somehow, they thought it was my fault they were being kicked out. Regardless of whether it was the people behind me or the people who lived in the house next door...I was blamed every time the cops came here. Though my landlord had his business downstairs and security cameras in and outside the building for years, the people in 1F blamed me for the cameras now!! I could hear them, 'That bitch upstairs got a camera..."

I complained and my landlord kept telling me to call the cops. That one time in October that I did - it was pointless. Others had called since, and it's pointless. The cops here only fueled 1F's hatred for me and the cops DID NOTHING!! Besides, I didn't want to call the cops, I didn't want to deal with them, I shouldn't have to deal with them, I shouldn't have to deal with any of this. I can't deal with any of this. I know stress is a huge factor in exacerbation of Myasthenia Gravis. My fear of getting sick again was settling in with the fear of living here....

MG & Stress - The First Death Threat

2008-03-02T05:19:00.001-08:00

The constant banging, yelling, or parties went on and got worse. I was still feeling all right then, so I would go out; I tried to ignore the people in 1F. I had fixed up my apartment nicely, displayed all of my items and was proud of what I had done. Anyone who visited would say, "Wow", calling my place a, "Museum." Then came October 11, 2007.

I was still living a normal life! I went out that night, and yes I had a few drinks: I had a great time with a group of friends. Then I came home to find an "outdoor" party. The usual group from 1F and a few others were wasted, doped up and loud. I had gotten used to walking around them, but this night I walked by and one of the "kids" made an extremely lewd comment to me. I knew I could not allow that now, or it would happen every time I walked by. I attempted to nip the comments in the bud. I turned to him and said, "Don't you ever say that to me again!" Immediately, the mother got up and got in my face, yelling ghetto at me. I yelled back, "Your kids shouldn't be saying things like that and it's late, they should be in bed." She went off on me, "Don't you be telling me what to do with my kids, they are with me....." The one they call, Ozzie also got in my face, "Mind your own business bitch, I'l f--ing kill you." They all ganged up on me, yelling, getting closer. I got scared, ran inside and dialed 911. I am unsure if I placed the call because of the death threats or the fact that they were smoking dope and drinking outside with a five year old and a twelve year old; it may have been both. Now I could hear them, "Crazy bitch. Who does she think she is? She got to learn to mind her own business...I'll f--in' kill her..." Yikes! I look out the window and see, Ozzie with an object (stick, bat?) in one hand hitting his other palm with it yelling up at my window, "Come on down bitch....I'll fucking kill you....come on down..."
I was trapped upstairs in my apartment, shaking, scared to death and was panicking as I listened to their threats. Where were the cops? or My friend? It was getting worse, they really wanted to kill me! Earlier that day, I had cleaned up the hallways from their last party. I had used bleach first, then pinesol and water. I saw the gallon jug which I used to mix the pinesol and water earlier. I rinsed it out quickly filled it halfway with water and dumped the water out of my window in an effort to make them stop threatening me. they started screaming, "I'll f--n kill her, crazy bitch. She's throwing bleach at us." No, it was not bleach. The cops pulled up, "Thank God," I thought. They talked to the people downstairs then came up to me. They asked why I threw bleach out of the window. I first explained that I had a few drinks that night, then what happened when I got home, and that it was a gallon water jar I had used with pinesol earlier, but I had only thrown water out of the window. The cops told me, "You can't do that." I went on, "They were threatening me....What was I supposed to do? You weren't here and they wanted to kill me." I commented that no one should be loitering outside my window at this hour (it was way after midnight) with the kids and that I thought drinking in public was an automatic ticket. At the time, I didn't realize that some officers from the 49th Precinct did not like to do their jobs.

One officer told me I should move. "What?!" I exclaimed, "I just moved here...look." I actually gave him a tour of my museum-like packed apartment, "Look at all this stuff....Does it look like I am going anywhere? They are being evicted. They shouldn't be outside!" He again commented that I can't throw bleach out the window, I asked him to smell the gallon jug, "See. It wasn't bleach. And they shouldn't be allowed to party outside at this hour." Why these cops would think a 120lb, 41yr old single female would mess with those 8 scary people downstairs I still don't know! The cops left promising they would tell those people to go inside. I heard them talking downstairs. 1F were telling them it's me, that I am a drunk and always bother their grandmother who lives there.... Uh? Weren't the cops going to say anything about the threats or tell them they aren't supposed to drink in public and the kids shouldn't be out now? My friend had finally arrived, so I was not alone anymore. I went to bed. Shaken, still afraid, but thinking it would get better.

It was Columbus day now and this neighborhood is known for its Italian heritage. A big parade takes place, and this year the neighborhood had a big block party right on my street. I could see friends of mine outside, so I got up the nerve to walk by 1F and join my friends. Those people from 1F were hanging on the steps and outside the building again. I grabbed some friends and showed each one my new apartment, parading as many people as possible right by the 1F tenants. I wanted to show the people in 1F that I had a lot of friends in the neighborhood. It worked; the mother came up to me and said, "You can't be throwing bleach out the window." I said "Listen ... it wasn't bleach, you know that. You shouldn't be out here at all hours... we all have to live here..." We agreed to leave it at that. I thought it would end!!!!!

MG & Stress - About Me & The Beginning of the Nightmare

2008-03-01T05:13:00.000-08:00

A little about me ..... before the Nightmare on Bronxdale begins (below)

My Life with Myasthenia Gravis (the very condensed version!!)

Before being diagnosed with Myasthenia Gravis…

In 2000, I had become ill with extreme facial pain, and over the next two years I underwent several surgeries requiring anesthesia, and major dental work. At the time, hard work was just paying off, I was publishing and writing a successful magazine for the comedy industry, "The Comic Bible" and was a new member of the prestigous Friars Club. I was interviewing and mingling many famous comedians, traveling to major comedy festivals, still performing with my comedy group, attending roasts and other infamous events at the Friars. I also spent time doing some PR and motivating some comedians. I began Comic Bible’s Laughter for a Good Cause; and sponsored or produced and promoted successful comedy contests and benefits most notably at Caroline’s, for the Epilepsy Foundation. I lived, ate, breathed comedy!!! I was vibrant, strong bodied and willed, laughing all of the time, living my passion, … and it was enabling me to help others!
(I had also been a collector since I was a teen, accumalting thousands of antique and vintage items over the years)
Following the surgeries and prolonged antibiotic treatment, I became exhausted and weak, unable to get up, I was dizzy, had double vision, one eye was lazy and drooping, my hands were very weak, I couldn’t talk and did stop talking to most of my friends. I could not hold anything for more than a few minutes, I would drop a pizza box, or a light bag. I fell climbing steps unable to get up or breathe normally. I just could not function any longer, no one understood and I could not explain, I didn’t know why. I researched online, bounced from Doctor to Doctor in a search for a diagnosis and help. I was still functioning somewhat, barely getting done, what I had to do. After being unable to swallow, spitting out, then being unable to catch my breath and falling on the way out of a meeting… I had to end my comedy industry career.

I started selling off my collections and spent a long time trying to find an answer, fighting to be normal again, to get up, to get my life back; but most times just to function a couple of days out of the week. Then, after complaining of the same symptoms for almost two years, my Neurologist, Dr. Dickoff (really, in Yonkers), inquired if I had been tested for Myasthenia Gravis (Acetycholine anti-bodies). He drew blood and my antibodies were highly elevated, his EMG proved my muscles were not functionally normally; thankfully my lungs were not yet effected and the MRI did not show an enlarged Thymus (thymus cancer is rare but does occur in myasthenics). I read about Myasthenia Gravis and did not want to believe it. I had just signed a lease on a dream NYC apartment, a two-flight walk-up and my neurologist tells me I will not be able to walk up two flights for long! I went for at least two second opinions!! I have been positively diagnosed with a life-threatening auto-immune disease, which means grave muscle weakness…Me!!
I had tried to keep my sense of humor and had always been strong willed. Throughout the past two years had kept the hope that once diagnosed and treated, all the symptoms would go away … forever. I am now devastated. My eye was obviously lazy and drooping, others seem to perceive me differently because of it. I tried to make jokes about it, but hate to even look at myself in the mirror anymore. I despise the fact that I am so weak I can not just, “go.” I was never afraid to try something or take chances. After falling while crossing a city street, I realize every movement is taking a chance: And all of a sudden I have fear. I fear simple things like living alone, having such a rare disease…In the back of my mind I am thinking about things I never thought I would; Am I going to fall? What if someone isn’t around to pick me up? If I go downstairs, can I get back up? Will I choke if I eat that? Will that make me weaker? Was that just a sneeze or a cold?... … Who am I? Depression ensues.

My neurologist prescribed and I tried many of the conventional medications used to treat Myasthenia Gravis, some worsened my symptoms, others improved the weakness in one part of my body and exacerbated it in others, some blocked my already compromised immune system, most had horrible side effects. I was lost, there did not seem to be an answer. My neurologist had suggested removing my Thymus (a gland between your chest believed to be a factor in MG.) Research shows this procedure does work on some Myasthenics, there are no guarantees and it has not been practiced for enough years to properly study long term results. I am told this procedure requires "cracking open my chest" and a long rehabilitation recovery period. That frightened me, I have already lost too much time with this disease, there were no guarantees … except excruciating pain and a loss of more precious time. I began to read and listen to other Myasthenic’s stories, most have the fear, a few wanted to kill themselves or hate themselves for it, some do not go out, most do not live, …I had started to apply for disability, when I decided I would not be beaten by this disease, I loved life - I had to fight! I wasn't going to be "disabled" Still selling off my collections, I tried every remedy I could … The “Little Engine That Could.” became my mantra; I had to find a way to strengthen my body.
I was treated at NY College of Oriental Medicine, took a host of vitamins, herbs, remedies, immune building pills, certain health foods and drinks, cut out certain foods, ephedrine, creatine, thymus, bee stings, very light exercise to release strengthening endorphins, uv rays, meditation, relaxation, faith, acupressure ... I tried everything!!! Finally, about 2 years later…my regiment worked! I am not sure what or how, but something did! My eye was no longer lazy, I could see straight, I hadn’t fallen, I had no major incidents of extreme weakness. I had resigned myself to the fact that I might never be as strong, or have full use of muscles and I was working around that …. I had gotten myself to remission, with only slight weakness during stressful times…Nothing I couldn’t sleep off. Though the fear of having MG, falling, etc. never seems to leave; I was gaining control of my body again and I began living a semi-normal life. I didn’t look sick now and no one had to know I was sick.
I had a new lease on life and I made the most of it, began new friendships, started laughing at everything again, going out, embracing life. I opened maryantiques.com early in 2007 and had begun a blog, “MaryAnswers questions About Antiques” with some success. I knew how to promote and was using my old skills. I had even become confident enough to begin reconnecting with old friends who knew I was sick. I found another apartment. Although moving is always stressful, I had a lot of help, I paced and rested and remained pretty healthy; I felt good. I liked the lay out, I like the area, the landlord made a lot of promises, (including evicting the rambunctious neighbors), and I was very excited to finally be my “old self” while starting over in a new home.
I did not realize I was moving into hell….

THE BEGINNING OF THE NIGHTMARE ON BRONXDALE.....

When I took the apartment here on 1855 Bronxdale Ave. the four apartment building (all one bedrooms) was a mess but the landlord had made many promises. He had told me the tenants below me were noisy. The grandmother, a 5 yr. old kid, were the only ones supposedly living there; I might hear them banging yelling once and awhile but it shouldn't be too bad as I was above it. His offices were below them and he informed me the noise was loud down there....little did I know. He said he was in the process of evicting these tenants, that he had lost the other tenants because of them. Once they were out of the building he would clean up, repair the broken steps inside and the hallway, the front doors which needed no keys, replace the non-working intercom ... basically fix up the entire building, which these other tenants had destroyed. He also told me that the former tenant in my apartment had been subletting this apartment to illegal immigrants through Craigs List.
Looking back, it was obvious he did not care about this building or who was living in it. At the time, I was so excited to move that I overlooked the red flags! I hadn't even considered the flight of stairs to get to my front second floor apartment. I hadn't had any major weakness or symptoms of Myasthenia Gravis in a long time now.

On the day of my move, the repairs which were necessary within my apartment had not been done. It wasn't ready, stressful ... yes, but I remained healthy. He had my money and quickly, it became a battle to get anything done, stressful, yes, but I remained calm and without any major MG weakness.

I am a vintage and antique collector and seller, with lots of shelving and thousands of items being brought into my new apartment!! It was a long weekend! My friends and I had taken a brief break, when another came over to help and caught the old lady who lives below me going through some boxes we had just left behind to hold open the building doors. Aggghhh! I went downstairs noted my plastic bins were left open and rummaged through. This bin had contained Swedish Art glass worth a small fortune, we only left it for a minute! I knocked on her door, the old lady pretended not to speak English when I asked, "Why are you going through my stuff? Don't you see the truck? I am moving in today." This women's health care worker and friend answered me with, "Don't you have help?" "What?!!" I continued, "I have plenty of help, this is MY stuff, not garbage ... my friend saw you going through my boxes. If anything missing I will report it. Don't touch my boxes!" Still in disbelief that a "neighbor" would do that, I grabbed the bin and stormed back upstairs.
Later that night, we had went back to my old apartment to gather my paintings and bring them over. Arriving back at my new apartment, we discovered, whom I soon found out to be the kid's mother/grandmother's daughter, her 12 yr. old, the kids father, another obnoxious young man named Ozzie, and the 5yr. kid, hanging outside. The father was nodding off in a folding chair, his drink almost spilling out of his hand, The mother and Ozzie were loud and talked ghetto, the 12 yr. old was riding his bicycle up and down, the kid was running like a banshee back and forth back and forth, yelling. They were spread out in front of the building, the kids purposely ran and rode in our path laughing. I almost dropped a painting when I saw the mother was on the steps, her drink next to her. She watched us approach with the cumbersome paintings, and clearly heard me say, "These are hard to carry, heavy, excuse us." Rather than moving her drink and getting up, she yelled at the father to, "Pick up my drink Pappi! ...Pick it up...." He woke from his stupor, stumbled over and picked up her drink while we waited to get up the steps and in the building with the huge paintings. She never got up she just leaned a little to the side of the step (the 3 outside steps are maybe 3ft. wide). It was hard but we managed to get around her, get the door behind her open and get inside. We got upstairs and commented to each, "That was pretty rude." and left it at that. (I would soon learn these parties were constant)

The next time I saw the landlord I mentioned these incidents to him. All he could say was, "I am not surprised." Yikes! He again promised they would be out of the building soon, that it is only supposed to be the grandmother and the kid but now he's got the whole family. Other than feeling a bit fatigued from the move, I still hadn't had any major MG weakness.

I scrubbed, unpacked, displayed all of my items, decorated, paid for ceramic tile and new cabinets to be put in the kitchen, put in a new stove...planned to put a floating floor in: This was going to be my home! I was a perturbed that the landlord wasn't even fixing simple things like the plumbing, painting, or hadn't had the place exterminated in years, but I was determined this apartment would be my new home. I had spent over 13 years in my first apartment, I hadn't found a "home" since. I had already displayed a lot of collections, spent money and though I wasn't happy about it, was forced to resign myself to the fact that I would have to utilize friends or make most repairs myself. Though he could clearly see I had put a lot into the place already, I told the landlord,"I'm not going anywhere for a while." I also asked him to please stop making appointments for repairs then never showing up. I would prefer he just tell me to do it myself rather than making me wait around for days or weeks and repairs never getting done. Since being in remission, I hated wasting time, so back then, I thought that was frustrating / stressful!

I had been feeling good and wasn't home too much then. I was back to working, going out, dating, having fun, living. Since day one, I noticed that there were many others living downstairs or at least staying here...often! I heard coming and going at all hours. The 12 yr. old would ride his bicycle in the building, crashing his tires against the doors to get in, or the walls for fun, leaving rubber marks everywhere. I could clearly hear and feel a constant banging in the apartment below me; the grandmother and kid up and loud all night, every night! But, I had new neighbors moving in behind me, and they were great. My new neighbors and I, spent time scrubbing the halls, cleaning up our new home and commiserating about the noise, stench of cat urine and the bugs we witnessed crawl out of apartment 1F. The landlord had made the same promises to them. We honestly thought...it can only get better. I wore earplugs and dealt with the noise and vibration from the banging below, which unavoidably had quickly became a topic of conversation amongst my friends/visitors, "What the h--- could that kid be banging so loud all night long? Doesn't he have to wake up for school? Where's the grandma? Doesn't she hear it? ... " We could also hear her yelling or talking loud below me at all hours...The earplugs didn't cut it; I started to feel the effect of their long hours, I couldn't sleep with all this racket!

I asked the landlord and one of his workers what goes on down there. They couldn't answer, though commented that when they are in the building, they hear it very loud in the offices below . The landlord again told me they were being evicted, and the worker quipped, "Have you heard the kid yell, "F--- you grandma, yet?" I giggled, "Really? No." There was nothing funny about it, that would soon become a common phrase heard during my life here. I was getting so tired, I know I need rest to stay healthy with the Myasthenia Gravis.

The banging and yelling weren't the worst though...It was still nice out. Those outdoor parties right outside grandma's window were constant, another daughter would show up, more kids, more adults, the drunken ghetto talk was x-rated in all aspects and could be heard extremely loud in my upstairs apartment. I could smell the drug use up here. The kids were in the middle of all this. I was keeping my windows shut, turning on the ac and two very old loud fans, turning the television volume louder and I could still hear it. I would be on the phone and the other party would comment, "What's going on there?" These people were LOUD! I would be forced to listen to their conversations about drugs, sex, and almost every one included violence, the daughter would go on, "...crazy bitch. I told her you better back up bitch, I'll f--up you, up mother f----r..." the others would comment and it would become even more graphic...I don't want to hear this!!! Don't they care that their grandmother was right inside the downstairs window? That she is old? That they are the reason she is getting evicted? These people obviously had no conscience. They were not only partiers, loud and rude, they were in and out of the building, blocking the entrance/exit, they left remnants of drug use, cigarette butts, spilled drinks, plastic cups and food everywhere.

This may be the Bronx, but this is Morris Park, a quiet, clean and close knit community, this was not supposed to happen here.

If all of this happened once in a while I wouldn't mind as much ... but this was every weekend; sometimes during the week. Whenever these people could gather at grandma's house. When they weren't all around and it was just the kid and the grandmother it was just as loud, her yelling all night, him banging and playing or whatever all night. I thought, "When do they sleep?" because I couldn't. I learned to sleep between 5a.m. until between 10 -12, take naps when it quieted down for a little while during the day, whenever I could catch a quiet moment. This was not good. My work was suffering and there were a couple of days I experienced double vision, a Myasthenic symptom...rest was imperative to my health!

Once again I complained to the landlord. Once again I was told, he knows, they are horrible, his other tenants left because of them, they were served with papers, they haven't paid the rent and they would be leaving soon.

I thought, "When?!? This is becoming a nightmare!!" I noted the landlord not only didn't do or finish one thing he said he would to my apartment or the building; he had received a few sanitation fines, the garbage was all over the side of the building, sometimes extending to the front. It did not go out regularly, and he didn't recycle. His workers would also break bottles in front of the building and leave garbage out there. I start realizing he doesn't really care about this building, he is letting it rot, hasn't kept one promise, and doesn't seem to care who lives here. I thought, "Is he really going to kick them out and fix up the building?"

Then it got WORSE......